There is no doubt in anyone’s mind about the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy. It’s something experienced by all who are in close contact with a woman “with child.” From the crazy food cravings to the emotional outbursts, there is never a dull moment.
Mary & Son, Jesus Elizabeth & Son, John (The Baptist)
Mary and Elizabeth were first-time mothers-to-be and surely had emotions stirring inside of them. Both were destined to give birth. Both had partners at their side.
At her advanced age, Elizabeth probably laughed, yet felt blessed to be able to conceive and finally bear a child. She looked forward to blending in with the other women in the neighborhood. She would no longer be stared at for being childless. Awe. Astonished. Honored. Blessed. Privileged. Matronly. Relief.
Mary did not laugh, yet most likely felt blessed and privileged to be chosen by God to deliver the baby Jesus. Even being the Holy Mother, she undoubtedly felt the scorn of some in society as an unwed pregnant girl. What shame she must have felt and her family, too. Throw that all in with a mix of hormones running wild, and one can sense the good with the bad. Awe. Astonishment. Honored. Blessed. Anointed. Miraculous. Unbelief. Lowly. Scared. Disappointed. Bewildered. Humbled. Sacred.
Unique Story
Like Elizabeth, I was older when I gave birth to my younger son. It was redemptive to me, a moment filled with joy. It might have been something like the anticipation that Elizabeth felt. Mypregnancy was uncomplicated! It contrasted with my first one, which might have echoed Mary’s apprehension and curiosity. Like Mary’s experience, my husband wasn’t initially thrilled about my first pregnancy, leading to emotional turmoil. My dream of motherhood clashed with the challenges of medical complications, which labeled my pregnancy as high-risk. While overjoyed, I felt conflicted, as perhaps Mary did. I wondered if I had done something terribly wrong.
When reflecting on my pregnancy, it’s not hard for me to imagine that Elizabeth and Mary faced their diverse emotions just as I did. I’m pretty sure the feelings darted all around. The joyous anticipation, the unforeseen challenges, and the conflicting emotions bubbling up inside.
I experienced all kinds of emotions all at the same time. For me, there was no other life experience that came close. It was like being on a rollercoaster, with its ups and downs, having a massage day at the spa while enjoying your favorite ice cream cone while crying – all rolled up into one.
The Miracle of Emotions
Just as God chose Elizabeth and Mary to play pivotal roles in the Nativity Story, God may have chosen a man named Mark to play a significant role in my first pregnancy. Mark was the counselor at the clinic. He was kind and empathetic. He guided my then-husband and me through our whirlwind of emotions and encouraged us to stay strong.
Toward the end of pregnancy, the anticipation. The unknown. The praying. The closeness to God.
Praying for the baby.
Praying for the baby’s health.
Praying for stability.
Praying for a loving husband to be supportive.
Praying for the miracle of birth.
I felt that God was with me every step of the way. And I’m guessing Elizabeth and Mary felt that way too. Our pregnancies and the birth process were nothing short of a miracle. Like Elizabeth and Mary, I had a son. Then, six and a half years later, I gave birth to a second son. The experience of feeling different emotions at the same time was a miracle.
Have you considered asking God about the emotions you feel?
The next blog will explore The Miracle of Jesus’ birth.
There is no doubt that Christmas time is a time of wonder and awe.
And what possibly could be more miraculous and wondrous than the Miracle of Birth? Today’s post begins with two special ladies from the New Testament who give birth to two extraordinary baby boys.
Elizabeth and Mary. Both mothers conceive according to God’s divine plan. We will explore each one separately.
The Miracle of Birth – The Backstory of Elizabeth
Let me set the stage.
Artist Credit: Of Knowledge Painting by Kd Neeley
Mary and Elizabeth are cousins and are pregnant at the same time. Elizabeth is an older, more mature woman married to Zechariah, a priest. Elizabeth was barren, and she and her husband longed for a child, yet they knew time was running out.
Why were children so important in Biblical Times?
At that time, children were a sign of God’s favor. Since Zechariah was a priest, it is easy to imagine people talking behind their backs about them being childless. How could a priest not have children? They must have been the talk of the town. Until…
Gabriel.
The Angel who pays a visit to Zechariah.
Elizabeth & Son, John the Baptist
Gabriel not only tells Zechariah that Elizabeth will bear a child, but his name will be John, and that the baby would grow to be a man who would prepare the way for the Lord.
Just like Sarah laughed in disbelief when God told her she would have a baby in her old age, Zechariah doubted this message from God. Because Zechariah doubted, he could not talk until the baby was born. God silenced him.
Little did Zechariah know at the time that John would be the voice calling in the wilderness.
“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”
Matthew 3:2
The Voice of God
Have you ever heard a voice calling in the wilderness? Or God speak to you directly? Or witness a profound moment in which it felt God intervened on your behalf?
Once, I was in my car heading west on Route 1 from Hoboken to Maplewood, NJ. There was traffic, and a car stopped abruptly in front of me. There was no time to react. Yet, I felt an unnatural force stop my car from hitting the car in front of me. I remember thanking my guardian angel to this day.
Similarly, once, I was traveling from Hoboken to Stamford, CT. It was in a blizzard. As I was rounding a corner in Tarrytown, several cars spun out and collided. My car spun out, too. But my car landed in a small ditch. Sure, I was rattled. But I was safe. My car was safe. And I was able to drive the rest of the way home. Once again, my guardian angel was watching over me.
God and his army of angels tend to show up when you least expect them. I’d love to hear about your experiences with God.
In the next post, we will continue this theme of The Miracle of Birth. We will further explore the mothers who gave birth to two religious leaders who changed the world.
To faith-based people, Christmas is the celebration of the birth of their savior, Jesus.
Most of us are familiar with the significant elements of the Christmas Story, or as some might say, the Nativity Story. Like baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the manger. Then came the shepherds and the wise men.
The Bible definitely doesn’t wrap stories up with neat bows. They are often confusing and void of details. Yet, the Bible has withstood through the ages as the most significant piece of literature of all time.
Why?
Because its words pierce the heart and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to each one of us uniquely. And maybe the Bible was written just for you and me!
The Miracle of Motherhood
Before we can appreciate and fully understand the meaning of Jesus’ birth, we need a refresher on noteworthy mothers in the Bible. We begin today’s post with the miracle of motherhood.
In the Bible, several women give birth to baby boys, who become some of the greatest leaders in the Bible. These Old Testament women faced infertility and were initially unable to conceive. Some were even past child-bearing age! Yet, through God’s divine plan, each went on to experience the miracle of birth.
Sarah & Son, Isaac
There is Sarah, the wife of Abraham, who becomes pregnant and gives birth to Isaac (Genesis 21:1).
Rebecca & Twins, Esau & Jacob
Interestingly, next is Rebecca, the wife of Isaac, who gives birth to twins Esau and Jacob (Genesis 25:25-26).
Rachel & Son, Joseph
After Rebecca comes Rachel, Jacob’s wife. Jacob is the man who married Leah by mistake (wearing a veil in the bridal tent) and then has to work seven more years for his Uncle Laban’s approval to marry his true love, Rachel. Rachel becomes the mother of Joseph (Genesis 30:22).
Manoah’s Wife & Son, Samson
Then, there is the unnamed woman who is Manoah’s wife. She conceives and gives birth to Samson.
Hannah & Son, Samuel
Next is Hannah, who cries out to God and finally has Samuel. After weaning, she presents Samuel to Eli, the Priest, who then raises Samuel in the house of God (1 Samuel 1:20).
Each of these women was deeply spiritual. They each cried out and prayed fervently for a child. Some, for decades. Sarah even laughed when God promised Abraham descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky. She waited more than fourteen years for the prophecy to come to fruition.
The Miracle of Surrender
These women who become mothers teach us that God controls even the minute details of our lives. Even though the Bible may be devoid of details, there is nothing in this world that God does not know. There is a plan for you and for me.
How do we ensure we are doing what God wants us to do? For me, the first step is surrender.
We need to let go and let God.
When we give ourselves to God, we open ourselves to new possibilities. New doors to open and go through. You will only know what is on the other side of the door if you open it.
Reflecting on a point of surrender in my life, a pivotal moment stands out – back in 2015. Faced with a failed job search in the tri-state area, I turned to prayer. “God, I surrender and will go where you lead.”
The Miracle of a Dream Come True
I expanded my job search nationwide, leading to a surprising job offer in Arkansas. Little did I know what God had in store for me. My dream of teaching academic courses was fulfilled a few short years later. Only God knew of that dream, and it came true!
How do these biblical stories relate to you and your life’s journey? Has there been a time in your life that you surrendered to God? I’d love to hear about it.
As we close, may this Christmas be a time for you to be open to the possibilities of what might lie ahead.
A Thanksgiving Mindset – Part 2 focused on a simple message.
Transformation and Introspection.
Image Credit: @ Bohu _ Allure
To recap, we discussed developing gratitude, improving ourselves through self-assessment tools, learning and understanding healthy relationships, and practicing mindfulness.
Let’s continue with Transformation.
This morning, a good friend of mine posted this to her Facebook page:
“If you fail, never give up because fail means ‘FirstAttempt In Learning.’ The end is not the end. In fact, the end means ‘EffortNever Dies.’ If you get no as an answer, no means ‘Next Opportunity.’ Changeyour mindset!”
Author Unknown
Growth Mindset
For transformation to occur, we have to change our mindset.A growth mindset sees challenges as opportunities for learning and development, much like the cycles of planting, nurturing, and harvesting in nature. It stems from the belief that we can do better. We can improve. We can become better people. Why? Because there is no limit on learning. We can improve ourselves by shifting our thinking and reactions and being proactive.
Proactive to more intentional awareness. Thinking before we speak. Choosing our words more carefully. Learning the art of “pause.” Listening more and speaking less. Observing nonverbal communication in dialogue.
If we actively practice healthy communication, we will eventually, transform into something different than we were or even currently are.
Fixed Mindset
Shifting from a growth mindset to a fixed mindset, the fixed mindset perceives the world as black and white. It is, or it isn’t. Growth is stifled, like a dormant seed unwilling to sprout. Those who seem stuck might be fixated on something they can’t get past. It is overwhelming. Whatever the “it” is. One way of becoming “unstuck” is by talking. Talking it out with a trustworthy friend. Or by seeking professional help. We can’t fix a problem that isn’t ours. What we can do is to do something ourselves. Accept the situation and learn from it. What can we do differently next time? What can we learn from it?
“With a fixed mindset, it can be hard to find motivation to work through perceived weaknesses because the ability to change may seem as hopeless as changing your eye color. In contrast, with a growth mindset, you’ll see your perceived weakness as a challenge that can be motivating — and even fun — to overcome.”
Mia Primeu, Stanford Today, November 10, 2023.
Thanksgiving to Transformation
Thanksgiving is the perfect canvas for cultivating a transformation mindset. Instead of focusing solely on what’s on the table, we can shift our attention to what we are grateful for—the love of family, the support of friends, and the opportunities surrounding us. A transformational mindset encourages us to foster a sense of appreciation for the present moment and provide grace (tons of it, perhaps) to those who surround us. As we sit down to a Thanksgiving feast, we can view the past year’s challenges not as obstacles but as stepping stones for personal and collective growth.
Let’s not think only of ourselves but others.
Pondering the transformation process begins with recognizing past experiences of ourselves and others, understanding reactions to life’s circumstances, and what we can do to make a positive mark on the people who mean the most to us and the world at large.
Last weekend, I dragged my husband to the Arts and Crafts Festival to a section of Tampa called Temple Terrace. The closest parking was about a half mile from the event. When we walked through a parking area into the park, a regal-looking historic building sat majestically on a bed of lush green grass.
Artist Credit: Chrysalis by Patricia Allingham Carlson fine america dot com
Built in 1914 as a horse stable, The Woodmont Clubhouse is the oldest structure in Temple Terrace. It served as a schoolhouse and is now the home of the Woman’s Club and a venue for special events.
As I squinted at the building, I marveled at its timeless beauty and rich history. I found myself lost in thoughts of transformation. The transformation of a horse stable to a schoolhouse. And, then, to a venue for special occasions.
I thought of resilience and evolution. This brought me back to the theme of transformation. Which, of course, means personal growth for me. I pondered how we could convert this sense of transformation into a Thanksgiving mindset?
Timeless beauty. Architectural grandeur. Serene and tranquil. A treasure trove of memories. Harmonious and picturesque.
It is simple: Transformation and Introspection.
You can’t have one without the other.
Let’s begin with Introspection.
“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it. It’s not enough to dream of it. It’s not even enough to pray for it. You must work at it.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Introspection requires:
Developing a Gratitude Attitude
Improving Self through Assessment Tools
Understanding Healthy Dynamics of Relationships
Practicing Mindfulness
Respecting Cultural and Spiritual Interpretations
Introspection demands a heart of gratitude to understand the emotions and attachments we have with things. Embracing ourselves as unique sons and daughters of the Almighty Designer of the Universe initiates this journey.
You must work at it!
Self-improvement involves learning lessons, identifying areas for growth, and recognizing strengths through self-assessment tools.
You must work at it!
Strengthening our relationships with others involves observing and learning from them.
You must work at it!
By examining our origins, family system, and individual experiences, we can better recognize triggers so we can redirect ourselves in a healthier way. Digging deep into childhood and unpacking past trauma takes work! It is not for the faint of heart.
You must work at it!
Mindfulness, a multifaceted practice, involves grounding ourselves in the present, examining the past through a magnifying glass with a different lens, creating space to dream, and setting goals for personal growth.
You must work at it!
By fostering a Thanksgiving mindset of introspection, we can truly celebrate beyond material abundance to a godly abundance within ourselves and share joy with those we cherish.
The other day, I was in a Marshalls’store and Christmas music was piping through the speakers. I caught myself humming to the music, and then I stopped. Dead in my tracks. And out loud, I quietly muttered, “It’s not even Thanksgiving yet!”
As I strolled the aisles, I noticed the festive and glittery Christmas section. There were huge bins filled with holiday merchandise on wheels waiting to find a home on the store floor. I pondered how we could convert this sense of abundance into a Thanksgiving mindset?
It is simple: Thanks and Giving.
Let’s begin with gratitude.
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Melody Beattie
Let’s be thankful for who we are.
Where we are.
How we are.
And why we are.
Redirect.
Instead of conforming to the materialism of the holiday, we can redirect our focus to enriching our own lives and the lives of others. Which can be done by doing instead of buying.
By focusing less on the shopping gods who want us to spend our money on frivolous gifts, we can spend more time being grateful for what we have right now.
Who are the people in your life who genuinely want you in theirs? Who extends a warm welcome? Who reaches out for help or to simply say, “Hi?” Thanksgiving is the perfect time to center our thoughts on gratitude for the people and experiences that shape our lives.
When we embrace a mindset of thankfulness, we will naturally want to give back to others. We want to help those in need. Those less fortunate.
What can we do to help others?
We can purchase one small item when we go shopping and place it in a box to give away during the holidays.
Or, we can visit an elderly person in a nursing home who may want some company.
A video call to catch up with someone who impacted our lives and whom we have lost touch with might also be an excellent expression of gratitude.
By fostering a Thanksgiving mindset of both thankfulness and giving, we can truly celebrate the season in a way that extends beyond material abundance to a godly abundance of doing good for others.
But what if you don’t feel thankful?
I think most of us would agree that stress and anxiety are part of the holidays, no matter what stage of life you are in. Even as a youngster, I remember feeling anxious about what Santa would leave under the tree. Would it really be what I wanted? Or, something else?
So, I get it. It sure is difficult to focus on gratitude when life sometimes, just simply sucks.
I get that – all too well.
If the holidays are overwhelming, please reach out to a trusted friend, or a professional to help you navigate this time of year.
Reading how God uses weather to serve purposes for the greater good is fascinating. Today, we will look at the Israelites wandering in the desert.
A Pillar of Cloud.
By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.
Exodus 13:21
God’s Navigational System.
After the 10 plagues in Egypt, the Israelites began their 40-year trek in the wilderness. At first, they were afraid. They didn’t know where to go. They cried out to God. God sent a cloud by day and fire by night to lead them. Of course, they thought it would take less than forty years. They probably thought it would take only a few months. Can you imagine traveling as a “people” with thousands of mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers?
The Building of a Leader.
At first, Moses did not think he was capable of leading anyone. He told God that he was slow in speech and tongue. (Exodus 4:10) God wanted to use Moses because of Moses’ humility and willingness to follow God’s direction. God rarely uses the eloquent, strong person to accomplish his mission. He chooses the most unlikely people who turn around and become strong, vibrant leaders.
A Resilient People.
Image Credit: Dorling Kindersley Print fine art storehouse dot com
Moses spent years honing his leadership skills in managing this great exodus. He learned patience, delegation, and conflict management. His vision and direction created a resilient people. After Moses passed away, God called Joshua to bring the Israelites to Caanan.
Lessons Learned
#1. Strength Comes from Unity and Community. #2. Wisdom and Inspiration can be found in Family Connections. #3. Obstacles Prepare Us for Our Life Journey.
Together is Better
In a world where we may feel alone, we can find others who identify with us and can help us overcome challenges. We can achieve goals by leaning on each other for encouragement and support. Can you think of a time when you were discouraged and wanted to quit, yet a friend or loved one encouraged you to continue? What was the outcome?
Gene Pool
Do you have a hankering for salt air? Or you like the cold when it nips your nose. The geographical location of your family of origin might shed some light on some of these quirky feelings you have had all your life.
Family stories provide us with a rich history of what our ancestor’s life journeys may have been like. These stories teach us values. And values can be strengthened by a greater sense of identity and connection to your heritage. Were your family members born during a time of conflict? A time of peace? Did they travel to another place? Was there a failed business? A successful business? Did any of your family members possess a specific talent or skill?
Twists and Turns.
Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. Many of which require hard work. Completing a high school education, college degree, or a trade certification. Or saving for a down payment on a home. What lessons can we learn from the path that leads to our “promised land?”
Maybe the next time you think something is taking “forever” – think again! Let us remember the story of Moses and the wandering Israelites. How steadfast a people continue to flourish despite all odds.
Track down your family tree.
Explore birthplaces.
Be thankful for family.
Take a Deep Breath.
Let’s breathe in wisdom and inspiration and exhale disbelief and pride.
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Isn’t it interesting that pillows and mattresses come with a tag that states, “Do not remove under penalty of law?” What if each of us were tagged from birth with a “Do not remove under penalty of law?”
The metaphor of the pillow tag represents the bond between family members and the weightiness of breaking it.
Why would some parents remove the tag and others keep the tag on forever? Why would siblings rip the tag off from their brother or sister? Or mother or father? Or child?
Some families abide by the pillow law, while others break it. The difference between them is how they treat each other and how they affect one’s well-being. And this can be intentional or unintentional. And thus, the spider’s web gets more intertwined within itself.
Families who abide by the pillow law are those families who are trying with all their might to keep their family intact.
Healthy families: Provide emotional support. Come together in a crisis. Help solve problems. Speak to one another after a divorce. Provide financial support when needed, if able. Are there for you when you are down. Intervene on your behalf. Stick to you like glue.
Bravo to the pillow law families!
But not all families are like that. Some families break the pillow tag law.
Families that are incomplete.
Not whole. Not healthy. Or just not the family you thought you would have.
A family that is dysfunctional. Abusive. Toxic. Narcissistic. Inability to set boundaries. Abandoned. Alienated. Discarded. Like trash.
Each family dynamic is unique; not all relationships can or should progress. Distancing yourself from toxic or harmful family members can be helpful at times. It can lead to personal growth, healing, and developing healthier relationships. Prioritizing your well-being and safety is crucial. And seeking professional guidance, such as therapy or counseling, can be transformative. Use all the tools available to make informed decisions about family reconciliation.
It’s vital to understand that not all family relationships are salvageable. In some cases, reconciliation may have negative consequences. If the family members have not sought counseling or had profound introspective work done, mending the fences may not be possible. If the parties experienced abuse, addiction, substance abuse, or felt harmed, it may be futile to pursue reconciliation.
It takes two to tango. You both have to be willing partners.
You can repair the pillow tag!
It won’t be perfect like before, but you can mend it. And it could be better than new!
What would reconnection look like in your family?
A divorced family on speaking terms?
A reunification from an estrangement?
Healing from parent alienation?
Family therapy to work out intergenerational trauma?
These are possible ways to mend a broken family and restore the pillow tag. And remember to seek reconciliation with boundaries and professional support.
Follow a new path back to an old family that has changed as much as you have.
Explore. Set an adventure. Change. Restore. Reconnect.
To peace.
To joy.
To love.
To wholeness.
To the tag, “Do not remove under penalty of law.”
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When Moses stretched out his staff toward the sky, the Lord sent thunder and hail, and lightning flashed to the ground. So the Lord rained hail on the land of Egypt; hail fell, and lightning flashed back and forth. It was the worst storm in all the land of Egypt since it had become a nation.
Exodus 9:23,24
The Story of the Plagues comes from the Book of Exodus in the Old Testament. It begins 400 years prior when the Israelites had become enslaved in Egypt. They prayed. And prayed for a very long time.
Moses& Aaron.
God inflicted ten plagues to convince Pharoah to free the Israelites. God chose Moses for this task and for leading the Israelites to the Promised Land. But Moses thought he wasn’t a good choice. So, God selected his brother, Aaron, to help him.
Moses was a fascinating choice for several reasons. First, he floated down the Nile River as a baby and was retrieved and adopted by the Pharoah’s daughter. This meant that Moses grew up in royalty. When he later learned of his true biological heritage, he killed an Egyptian, fled Egypt, went to Midian, and became a shepherd. He was there for 40 years.
Equally compelling was God choosing Aaron. Even though Aaron was Moses’ brother, Aaron had grown up a Levite. Not an Egyptian. It was intriguing that God chose two brothers raised entirely differently. And they both heeded the call of God to protect and free the Israelites.
Tough Nut.
Interestingly, each of the ten plagues is related to an Egyptian god. Pharoah was tough to crack because the first six plagues didn’t scare him. (1) The Nile River turned into blood, (2) frogs covered the land, (3) dust became gnats, (4) swarms of flies, (5) disease inflicted on livestock, and (6) soot became boils on the skin of the Egyptians including their animals.
Image source: Public Domain (need pix dot com)
Thunder. Hail.
Then, God sent a hailstorm.
Not just any hailstorm.
One that would kill anyone that was outside.
For each plague, Pharoah believed that the Egyptian gods would outsmart the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
But he was wrong.
Moses and Aaron, both appointed by God, were faithful in their servitude. Then came (8) the locusts the day after the east wind blew. Next, (9) total darkness fell upon the land for three days. The last plague was the death of the first-born son, which will lead us into the next blog post on The Passover.
Finally, the Pharoh liberated the Israelites so they could resume their quest to arrive at the Promised Land. The Story of the Plagues teaches us about God’s power and choice of helpers. Kindness, loyalty, and faithfulness are what God seeks.
Lessons Learned
As we move into Fall, let us learn lessons from The Story of the Plagues and how it applies to our lives.
#1. Actions have Consequences. #2. Have Faith. #3. Be Patient. (And Generous)
The plagues were a direct result of Pharaoh’s unwillingness to obey God. Likewise, our actions have consequences, and we must carefully weigh our choices. The Israelites had faith and worshiped God even when complaining they were slaves. Having faith means that things will work out how they need to, even when it seems they won’t.
God was patient with Pharoah even when he was stubborn. God gave him lots of chances to be obedient. If God can be patient, so can we. We must be generous with our time to allow others time to process for themselves.
Remember the Story of the Plagues of Egypt the next time you see and hear hail. They are a powerful reminder of God’s sovereignty and ability to use weather to accomplish His purposes.
Be faithful. Answer God’s call to action. Praise God for his patience. Ask God for an abundance of patience.
Take a Deep Breath.
Breathe in patience and exhale stubbornness.
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I and Thou Reflections 