Relationships – Page 5 – I and Thou Reflections

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #2

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Stress of Feeling Invisible

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill is confiding in her friend Amelia about feeling invisible in her marriage.

Amelia: “Do you feel invisible with Derek?”

Jill: “Incredibly so. I’ll tell you a quick story. My friend Carla and I rearranged the living room one afternoon, having a great time mixing things up. When we got back from the store, Derek had moved everything back without saying a word. When I asked about it, he snapped, ‘I will do what I want. You are not the boss of me!’ I felt dismissed, like my preferences didn’t matter.”

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt invisible to someone you love?

It’s not a great feeling. Is it?

It’s a unique kind of loneliness. You are physically present yet emotionally disregarded or ignored. This type of feeling creates distance. Not only that, it attacks your self-worth, and you begin questioning.

Yourself.
Others.
And God.

In relationships, it’s natural to want to be noticed.

To be acknowledged.
To be affirmed.
These are fundamental building blocks of a relationship.

When others brush aside our efforts or desires, it’s easy to question our value. Jill’s story reflects the tension between longing to connect and being met with indifference.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted – Psalm 34:18

Feeling unseen erodes self-worth and drives a wedge between partners. Seeking support is not a weakness but a step toward healing. When you feel unnoticed, hold onto the truth that your feelings matter. Even when you think they don’t.

Haiku

Eyes that never see
Words that vanish in the air
God is there for you.

Reflective Questions

-When was the last time you felt unseen in a relationship? How did it affect you?

-What steps can you take to feel more valued and heard?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #1

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Weight of The Overwhelm

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill, the main character, is having an internal dialogue with herself about her husband, Derek…

“With the teacher conference conversation still fresh in my mind, I felt at a crossroads. I saw a pattern. Derek did not. My good kids were morphing into out-of-control kids. As a mother, I had to fix this problem….So, I decided to call Amelia and finally take her up on her offer for a visit.” – Jill Mandela

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt like you were at the end of your rope and had to do something fast?

When we get overwhelmed, it feels like the walls are closing in. And there is nowhere to escape. In other words, it is that crushing point when everything feels urgent.

The people we love hurt.
Responsibilities pile up.
And there is pressure to “fix it.”

But sometimes, feeling overwhelmed can be a signal. It tells us that something needs to change.

Jill realizes she needs distance.

Not to escape – but to find clarity.

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” -Luke 5:16

In this passage, we read that Jesus withdrew to quiet places to pray. He needed space to breathe. A place to pause and regroup. Clarity doesn’t always come through effort. Sometimes, it arrives in stillness and prayer.

In several key moments in the book, Jill reads scripture and then seems to receive a divine message. All leading her to greater insights and a softer heart.

Haiku

In the tangled noise
Clarity waits, whispering—
Step back, take a pause

Reflective Questions

When life feels too full, where do you go for clarity?

What’s one area in your life where stepping back could help you see more clearly?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Introduction

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

Introduction

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

It’s a perfect time to pause and reflect.

In the next few days, I invite you to join me in a series of reflections drawn from the novel Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa.

Whether you’ve read Wine & Faith or not, these blog posts are designed to stand on their own. Wine & Faith isn’t for everyone. Yet, in the next few weeks, we’ll explore a few themes that most people encounter at some point.

This book isn’t about mental health in the clinical sense, but it speaks to the emotional burdens we carry. It is the perfect book to use as a backdrop for Mental Health awareness.

A Little About the Book

Wine & Faith touches the heart. It shows patterns that repeat across generations, feelings of loneliness, unmet emotional needs, and a strong wish to be seen and heard. It weaves themes of faith and personal transformation with the rawness of human experience.

In Wine & Faith, we follow Jill, a woman trying to make sense of the growing chaos in her life. The walls seem to be caving in, and she is facing a crisis of faith. Her husband, Derek, carries his own inherited, unhealthy patterns.

Wine & Faith explores how brokenness can slowly lead to healing.

In the next few posts, I’ll share:

~A brief excerpt from the book
~A faith-grounded reflection on a hidden stressor
~A haiku to uplift your spirit
~A journal prompt to guide your thoughts

Let’s navigate through Jill’s journey together.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please comment and “like” this post if you feel so led.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaisleyfrog #LifeJourney

Cranberry Lemonade: Faith & Transformation

Introduction

Life often hands us challenges—those sour, difficult moments that can leave us bitter or discouraged. But just as we can transform tart lemons into refreshing lemonade, faith has the power to transform our lives in profound ways. Through faith, we become new creations, shedding the past and embracing a future full of hope, reconciliation, and renewal.

In this three-part series, Cranberry Lemonade, we’ll explore how faith can lead to transformation, reconciliation, and new beginnings. We will discuss how faith can lead to personal transformation, turning us into new creations with the courage to move beyond our past. Then, explore the natural outcome of this transformation—seeking reconciliation in our relationships and finding peace with others and ourselves. We will complete this series by considering how divine intervention and reconciliation lead to new beginnings, not just in our spiritual lives but also in our connections with family and community.

A New Creation in Faith

“…Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” – 2 Corinthians 5:16-19

Faith is a trust or belief in something, whether it’s nature, the Universe, or Mother/Father God. This belief is deeply personal and shapes us into who we are. Some may adapt to fit their circumstances like chameleons, while others stand firm on their principles. But when faith takes root in our hearts, we undergo a transformation—a rebirth into a new creation. This change can come through various actions, whether connecting with nature, attending church, or exploring biblical prophecy.

The Lemonade Analogy

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It encourages us to stay optimistic, even when life presents challenges. With their sourness, lemons symbolize life’s difficulties, while sweet and refreshing lemonade represents the positive outcomes we can create.

But what if we take this a step further? Imagine adding cranberry juice and stevia to plain lemonade. This new combination is something wonderfully different, just as we can be transformed when we embrace reconciliation.

If your life were a glass of lemonade, what ‘cranberry juice’ (new element) would you add to make it even more refreshing?

It could be forgiveness, understanding, or a new perspective. Consider what you can add to your life to make it more refreshing and transformative.

Transformation Through Faith

When we accept faith and become a new creation, we experience a profound sense of freedom. The past no longer holds us back, and we are empowered to move forward with courage and strength. This transformation naturally leads us to consider our relationships—especially those needing mending.

Can you recall a time when you experienced a significant transformation?
How did faith play a role in that change?
What old habits or mindsets have you let go of since embracing your faith?

Next time, we’ll look at the power and peace of reconciliation as a symbol of newness in this journey of life.

#Faith #Transformation #SpiritualJourney #Reconciliation #Relationships #NewCreation #Reflections

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Generational Curses: Breaking the Chains in Our Families

Have you ever felt cursed?

Or that your family heaped baggage onto you?

Intergenerational curses have a profound impact on the family. These cycles, often perpetuated unintentionally, can manifest in various forms. This can include domestic violence – a cycle rooted in power and control. Or addiction. Or incarceration. Or alcoholism. Or mental illness. Or a host of other issues like depression, anger, or anxiety.

A Blessing or a Curse?

What type of family do you have?

Did you grow up feeling loved, wanted, and cared for?

Or did you grow up feeling like a burden? Like your parents were going through the motions but didn’t want you around?

Today, we want to break the chains. We want to embrace love, empathy, and resilience. By understanding and addressing the roots of these challenges, we pave a path to healing. And healing leads to transformation. Which ensures that our legacy is one of strength and compassion. Let’s free ourselves from the shadows of the past.

1 in 4 people are estranged from a family member.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men have experienced domestic violence.
40-50% of marriages end in divorce.
Psychologytoday dot com
-National Center for Health Research
-American Psychological Association

There is no denying that the family unit has disintegrated over the past several decades. This piece is a call to:

Educate.
Create awareness.
Take action.

We must confront the intergenerational curses affecting our families head-on. No sidestepping this issue anymore. Because our parents’ choices continue to scar us and future generations. We’ve inherited patterns of abandonment. Lack of belonging. Pain, anxiety, and dysfunction. Including the cycle of sexual, emotional, physical, or financial abuse. These issues must be addressed with honesty and with an open heart.

We must acknowledge that our ancestors were flawed. Which contributed to our parents’ and our own imperfections.

The Inherited Legacy

Our families are like ancient trees with roots deep in tradition. We inherit not only physical traits but also emotional legacies. Perhaps your great-grandfather struggled with addiction. Or your grandmother’s unfulfilled dreams haunted her. These experiences shape how we perceive the world and interact with others. Thus, our childhood experiences have affected every single one of our relationships. Past, present, and future. Unless we break the cycle.

Breaking the Cycle

Recognizing generational curses is the first step to breaking free. It’s not about blame; it’s about understanding. By shedding light on these patterns, we empower ourselves to make different choices.

Actions: Choose forgiveness and open communication. Seek financial literacy and create a new path to end the plague of economic struggles. Read and educate yourself on the cycle of power and control. Learn how behaviors can affirm or minimalize.

Understanding the cycle of domestic violence can stop it in its tracks. Power and control perpetuate abuse across generations. Recognizing this cycle enables us to intervene, break the chain, and offer support. Ask, “Who abused your abuser?” Realizing that your abuser was also most likely abused fosters compassion and understanding.

Hope and Healing

Let’s rise above the issues that threaten the fabric of the family. One step at a time.

American Family Day is on the first Sunday in August. It invites us to rewrite our family narratives.

Actions: Start by replacing curses with blessings. Reach out to an estranged relative, or a relative that harmed you. Listen without judgment, and offer compassion. Seek therapy or counseling if needed.

Healing isn’t linear; it’s a journey of small victories and setbacks. But with each step forward, we honor ourselves and our ancestors. By creating a brighter future.

As we celebrate family today, let’s break the chains of generational curses. Let love, empathy, and resilience be our legacy. One that transcends time and transforms lives.

#AmericanFamilyDay #Family #Compassion #Forgiveness #Listen #Therapy #Relationships #Divorce #PowerandControl #Estrangement

Valentine, Oh Valentine – Part 4

The Sacredness of the Strawberry

The Goddess of Love

Vibrantly red in color with the sweetness of sugar, strawberries have been around for centuries. Ancient Romans believed the fruit to be a symbol of Venus, the goddess of love. This led to rituals associating strawberries with love and fertility.

The Heart Chakra

A sacred fruit to some, symbolizes the heart, as in the heart chakra, the energy center of love and compassion. It represents purity, abundance, and the sweetness of life. Indulging in strawberries can be a mindful practice that invites us to savor each bite as we thank God for the blessings in our lives.

Sensuality

*Image Credit: gypsygirlgourmet.blogspot.com*

Chocolate-dipped strawberries add a hint of passion and sensuality to its characteristics. Often thought of as an aphrodisiac, chocolate stimulates the release of endorphins and “feel good” hormones, which can tingle the senses. This Valentine’s treat symbolizes desire and indulgence and is a thoughtful gift for a special person in your life.

Eating together is considered a sacred act in tantric and spiritual traditions. It symbolizes a union. A sharing of nourishment at a physical and spiritual level. Thus, eating strawberries with a loved one can deepen emotional connection.

Fresh and Sassy

Whether strawberries are picked in a garden or bought from the grocery store, they are fresh and sassy. They are versatile, too! They can adorn a beautiful platter of cheese and crackers by slicing them thinly, fanning them, and keeping the stem intact. Dipping them in chocolate and poking them on sticks can resemble a vase of flowers. Dicing them and placing them in a glass bowl, whisper, “Use me as a topping.” For salads, for ice creams, for whatever you can dream.

The next time you reach for a strawberry, pause. Take it in. Allow yourself to fully experience the lusciousness this fruit provides.

The color.

The taste.

The love.

Share God’s Love

May the next strawberry you eat connect your soul profoundly and meaningfully to God, to love, and to others. Go and savor the heart-shaped fruit and experience the simple beauty of nature.

Happy Valentine’s Week!

Valentine, Oh Valentine – Part 3

The Spiritual Significance of Strawberries

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a day of love and passion. It is a day to declare your love to those you love. For me, Valentine’s Day reminds me of strawberries. Chocolate-covered strawberries, to be exact. There is something extra special about them. Maybe because it is a once-a-year treat.

Love is in the Air

If I had to define what love tastes like, I would choose a strawberry. A ripe strawberry tastes like the very essence of love. First, the smell. The fresh aroma starts to tingle the senses. Then, the bite. The first bite lingers on your tongue. It is a sweet-tart sensation that intermingles in your mouth.

Harmony

In North America, strawberries symbolize reconciliation, harmony, and positive energy. In Europe, they suggest righteousness and spiritual purity. (The Language of Flowers: A Miscellany” by Mandy Kirkby.)

Fruit of the Spirit

In the Bible, strawberries can represent the Fruit of the Spirit. They convey love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23). When we see and eat strawberries, we can reflect on the goodness God provides to us. Strawberries urge us to bear spiritual fruit in our lives.

Devotion and Service

Strawberries also remind us of devotion and service to others. These red fruits are wrapped in a heart-shaped package. Each one represents love for ourselves and love for others. It is the force that binds us all together as one.

Strawberries also represent sensuality. The God-given pleasure of life. Think about it.

The Strawberry:

Red

Sweet

Luscious

Shhhhh – I Love You!

So, the next time you bite into a strawberry, pause. Let its flavor linger on your lips, and consider the whispers it carries. Love, devotion, and sensuality are wrapped in the tiny, heart-shaped package.

May the sweetness of strawberries remind you of life’s divine flavors.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Valentine, Oh Valentine – Part 1

The Origin of the Strawberry

Introduction

I love Valentine’s Day!

It is one of my favorite holidays. I don’t get suckered into commercialism; I take time to reflect on love. Past. Present. Future.

So, spending the next few posts exploring the connection between Valentine’s Day, love, and strawberries is fitting. Remember that Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. It doesn’t necessarily involve romantic love. Love is love.

Image Credit: Betsy Cox PublicDomainPictures.net

Is it a Plant or a Fruit?

Valentine’s Day is a perfect time for indulging in fresh strawberries from the farmer’s market. Their sweet aroma fills the air and dazzles the senses, evoking a smile from ear to ear.

Did you know that this tiny, robust red fruit is not just a fruit but also a plant?

Botanically, the “fruit” of the strawberry is not a fruit at all. The fleshy, edible part of the plant is the enlarged receptacle of the flower. The visible “seeds” that dot the surface of the strawberry actually are achenes. An achene is a type of dry fruit borne by some plants in nature where the ripened ovary contains but a single seed.
David Trinklein, University of Missouri, Plant Science & Technology (2012)

Have you ever grown strawberries? Or observed them growing in a garden or field? These vine-like stems sprawl in all directions and lay low; hence, they are the “strewn” in strawberries.

Where Did They Come From?

By the 1300s, the strawberry was in cultivation in Europe when the French began transplanting the wood strawberry (Fragaria vesca) from the wilderness to the garden. At the end of the 1500s, the musky strawberry (Fragaria moschata) was also cultivated in European gardens. Then, in the 1600s, North America’s Virginia strawberry (Fragaria virginiana) reached Europe. The spread of this new, relatively hardy species was gradual, and it remained little appreciated until the end of the 1700s and early 1800s when it was popular in England. At that time, English gardeners worked to raise new varieties from seed, and they increased the number of varieties from three to nearly thirty.
Vern Grubinger, Vegetable and Berry Specialist, The University of Vermont

Strawberry is a member of the Rosaceae family, and its official name is Fragaria. Strawberries are native to North America. Native Americans used them in many dishes, and the first colonists shipped them back to Europe as early as 16001.

Versatile Little Treasures

Home gardens are an ideal environment for nurturing strawberries. They only require a little space, and they yield a fair amount.

You may want to purchase extra strawberries this week. Or better yet, share a few chocolate-covered strawberries with a special someone. These timeless treasures make the perfect Valentine’s gift.

Happy Valentine’s Week.

#Valentine #Valentine’sDay #Strawberry #Love

I AND THOU: LOVE BEYOND WORDS

I heard on the radio today that February 7-14 is National Marriage Week.

First, let’s give a shout-out to married folks! Hip, hip, hooray!

Another cheer for those who hope to marry someday! Hip, hip, hooray!

MARRIAGE

This week, we celebrate marriage. The timeless institution is a beacon of love, commitment, and companionship. Marriage is more than a legal contract or societal norm. It’s a sacred bond forged in sharing experiences, trials, and triumphs.

Marriage is a journey of…

Growth.

Compromise.

Unconditional Love.

THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE

It enriches the lives of both partners and communicates in the language of love. Love is the shared moments that speak volumes without a single word spoken.

The giggles.

The gestures.

The glances.

The long embrace.

The cuddles.

The dancing in the kitchen.

It is the “I have your back” confidence. The confidence that when it gets tough and life throws a curveball, there is someone to lean on.

RECENT RESEARCH

Marriage plays a significant role in determining a person’s overall happiness throughout their lifetime.
Brad Wilcox, Professor of Sociology, University of Virginia

Brad Cox’s research offers valuable insights into the intricate dynamics of marital bliss. His studies delve into the factors contributing to long-lasting happiness within relationships, highlighting:

Mutual Respect.

Communication.

Emotional Intimacy.

FOR THOSE WHO CHOOSE ANOTHER PATH

Worth and happiness are not defined by marital status. Clearly, marriage makes sense to some and not to others. Each person’s journey is unique. Marriage may not be the right choice for everyone. Therefore, we must respect and honor the diversity of human relationships in all shapes and sizes.

CONCLUSION – LOVE IS LOVE

There is no doubt that love permeates through the air in February. Everywhere you go, you see hearts. Today, I saw raspberries in a clear plastic heart-shaped container at Target.

This week is the perfect opportunity to cherish the love you have in your life. Embrace love. Show affection. We all love someone. A parent. A child. A spouse. A friend. Go ahead and celebrate love this week with a simple gesture. Remember that love unites us together in the fabric of life. And the sacrament of marriage binds us to God and our partner for all the days of our lives.

#NationalMarriageWeek #Love #LoveBeyondWords #Relationships

A Tribute to The Groundhog

It’s Groundhog Day!

Many of us are familiar with the 1993 film, “Groundhog Day,” starring the famous comedian Bill Murray. In this flick, he plays a weatherman sent on assignment to Punxsutawney, PA, to cover the annual Groundhog Day event. Does the groundhog see his shadow for six more weeks of winter, or does he not indicate spring will arrive shortly.

Groundhog Day,

“is a tradition observed in the United States and Canada on February 2 of every year starting in the 16th century. It derives from the Pennsylvania Dutch superstition that if a groundhog emerges from its burrow on this day and sees its shadow, it will retreat to its den, and winter will go on for six more weeks; if it does not see its shadow, spring will arrive early.”
Wikipedia

The movie begins with the clock turning 6 a.m. and the alarm playing “I Got You Babe,” a Sonny and Cher certified Gold hit on the Billboard Hot 100. Bill, who plays Phil Connors, wakes in his hotel room, only to repeat this segment many times in the movies. Finally, Phil realizes he is caught up in a time loop, with the same day playing over and over.

In psychological terms, he experiences a personal transformation. Phil’s character matures from an arrogant, self-centered one to a more authentic human being who genuinely cares for others. His pursuit of love offers comic relief to the often awkwardness of dating.

Lessons Learned

Lesson #1: Be Open to Personal Growth

Phil has an incredible opportunity to reflect on his day, reassess, and make changes for the next day. He learns to be kinder and compassionate by listening more and seeing life through other perspectives.

Lesson #2. Embrace the Present

The endless loop Phil finds himself in allows him to live in the moment. He learns to find joy in simple pleasures

Lesson #3. Find Purpose

Phil falls in love with one of his colleagues, and in his pursuit of “winner her over,” he realizes that love gives purpose and fulfillment to his life.

Reflection

This movie provides an opportunity for all of us to pause. To Pause and reflect on how we would live our lives differently if we knew what was coming next. How often do we say to ourselves, “If only I’d known?”

This movie serves as a reminder to live life fully.
To be our best selves.
Not mediocre selves, but our best!

What does your best look like? And, would your best be the best for someone else?

Living my best self taught me to think more and talk less. I have learned that my words matter. My actions matter. My intentions matter. I want to make this place a better place and impact lives. The lives of friends, family, and strangers. I want us to come together as one.
One people.
One God.
One love.

#GroundhogDay #PersonalTransformation #BestSelf #Authenticity #Relationships #ServeOthers

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