A God-fearing man. Quiet. Steady. Consistent. A faithful servant was he.
Dad was Dad— Meek, mild, and even-tempered, day in and day out. A faithful servant was he.
He rarely told me what to do. Sometimes, I listened, and other times, I didn’t. A faithful servant was he.
He tolerated my fashion shows. Twirling and dancing, he turned newspaper pages. Gazing up each time with an ooh and an ahh. A faithful servant was he.
Dad held my hair back when sick. Cool cloths blotted neck and forehead, hand held tenderly. He was there for it all. A faithful servant was he.
“Dad, can you drive me here, there, everywhere?” I pleaded. Off we would go. Ice-skating, sledding, roller-skating. A faithful servant was he.
As nutmeg and cinnamon filled the air, a rolling pin and flour lay on the counter. There stood Dad, donned in an apron and chef’s hat. A faithful servant was he.
Peering through the oven door’s glass. Waiting patiently for the pies and fruit cake to bake. A faithful servant was he.
Work clothes each workday. Coffee. Apple. A Bible tucked in his lunchbox. A faithful servant was he.
Jack of all trades, His tools lined up on the pegboard. Played music by ear, sang solos at church. A faithful servant was he.
He lived by faith, walked in grace, and loved as best he could. Not perfect, yet steadfast. Well done, good and faithful servant.
It was Mother’s Day. Decades ago. I told my mom I would have a baby, too!
Here is a poem she wrote after she found out..
Our Baby
Our baby’s having a baby – We can’t believe it’s true! Seems like only yesterday, We were diapering you.
Our baby’s having a baby – We’re excited as can be. Grandchild number five Is added to our “tree.”
Our baby’s having a baby – A bundle in pink or blue; A little girl or a little boy, With features from each of you.
Our baby’s having a baby – Isn’t it exciting? For the dad’s side, it’s number four; As we welcome soon one more.
~Connie Walton, 1992 1924 – 2017
Here is my tribute to her, written today for Mother’s Day 2025…
My Mom, The Rock
She never told me what to do and didn’t map the road ahead. She listened. Quiet. Steady. Like a rock.
As I poured out my thoughts, Not once did she say, “You should…” She only nodded and stayed silent. Like a rock.
And when I stood in that kitchen, telling her I’d be a mother too, she didn’t give advice, she beamed from ear to ear. As if she already knew. Like a rock.
Although I swear I saw a tear, A tear of joy was shed for me. Listening was the lesson. Her warmth, her knowing glance, Blanketed me with comfort. Like a rock.
Love wasn’t in instructions or advice, but in her presence, that was real. At two o’clock in the morning, she would answer my email in the stillness of the night. Like a rock.
My mom’s face was like a book. She proudly wore her emotions. Steady. Loving. Like a rock.
A solid rock, was she, Secretly rooting for me each day. I know deep inside my heart, She lives on through me. Like a rock.
is a time to honor and celebrate the fathers in our lives. While expectations of fathers may have changed over the years, the core values of what makes a good father (or step-father) are timeless.
A good father is more than just a provider; he is a nurturer, a guide, and a pillar of support for his partner, children, and community.
Core Values of a Good Father
Attachment
Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby, emphasizes the importance of forming a secure bond between a child and their caregiver. A good father fosters this bond through consistent presence and emotional availability. He helps his children develop a sense of security and trust by providing comfort and support. It starts with taking turns with changing diapers, late-night feedings, and going to bed routines. This secure attachment lays the foundation for healthy emotional development and relationships throughout the child’s life.
Attunement
Attunement refers to a parent’s ability to recognize, understand, and respond appropriately to their child’s emotional states. A good father is attuned to his children’s spoken and unspoken needs. He listens actively, observes carefully, and provides support to help them navigate their feelings. A good father is empathetic and helps his children feel understood and valued, fostering their emotional intelligence and resilience.
Respect
Respect is fundamental to any healthy relationship, and the father-child relationship is no exception. A good father respects his children’s individuality and encourages their autonomy. He acknowledges their unique personalities, interests, and perspectives and supports their independence. By showing respect, he teaches his children to value themselves and others, promoting a healthy sense of self-worth and mutual respect in their interactions.
Personal Growth
A good father is not only a teacher but also a learner. He models personal growth by adapting to his family’s changing needs. Whether deepening emotional intimacy with his spouse, enhancing parenting skills, or working on personal challenges, his commitment to growth inspires his children to pursue their own development paths. This lifelong learning mindset fosters a culture of continuous improvement and resilience within the family.
Prioritizing Children’s Needs
One of the defining qualities of a good father is his ability to prioritize his children’s needs. This does not mean neglecting his own well-being but instead finding a balance where the children’s physical, emotional, and psychological needs are prioritized. A good father understands the importance of providing a safe and nurturing environment, even if it requires personal sacrifices. He makes sure they have the resources and support they need to thrive.
Mental Health
A good father values good mental health. He recognizes the importance of emotional well-being and openly discusses such things. By addressing issues such as respect, value, self-esteem, stress, anxiety, and depression, he helps normalize the conversation. Providing space for emotional expression and seeking professional help promotes a healthy, balanced life.
Respect for the Mother of His Children
A good father shows respect for the mother of his children. He recognizes that a harmonious and respectful relationship sets a positive example for their children. Whether partners or co-parents, mutual respect and cooperation are crucial for creating a stable and loving environment. By treating the mother of his children with kindness, consideration, and respect, he demonstrates the importance of healthy relationships and teamwork. This respect benefits the children by providing a model of positive interaction that strengthens the overall family unit.
The Legacy of a Good Father
Father’s Day is an opportunity to reflect on and appreciate the profound impact that good fathers have on their children’s lives. Good fathers lay a solid foundation. As we celebrate this special day, let us honor the fathers who embody these qualities and strive to be the best role models they can be. Their dedication and love create a lasting legacy for generations to come.
Happy Father’s Day
#Father’sDay #Attachment #Attunement #Respect #Mental Health #RoleModel
There is no doubt in anyone’s mind about the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy. It’s something experienced by all who are in close contact with a woman “with child.” From the crazy food cravings to the emotional outbursts, there is never a dull moment.
Mary & Son, Jesus Elizabeth & Son, John (The Baptist)
Mary and Elizabeth were first-time mothers-to-be and surely had emotions stirring inside of them. Both were destined to give birth. Both had partners at their side.
At her advanced age, Elizabeth probably laughed, yet felt blessed to be able to conceive and finally bear a child. She looked forward to blending in with the other women in the neighborhood. She would no longer be stared at for being childless. Awe. Astonished. Honored. Blessed. Privileged. Matronly. Relief.
Mary did not laugh, yet most likely felt blessed and privileged to be chosen by God to deliver the baby Jesus. Even being the Holy Mother, she undoubtedly felt the scorn of some in society as an unwed pregnant girl. What shame she must have felt and her family, too. Throw that all in with a mix of hormones running wild, and one can sense the good with the bad. Awe. Astonishment. Honored. Blessed. Anointed. Miraculous. Unbelief. Lowly. Scared. Disappointed. Bewildered. Humbled. Sacred.
Unique Story
Like Elizabeth, I was older when I gave birth to my younger son. It was redemptive to me, a moment filled with joy. It might have been something like the anticipation that Elizabeth felt. Mypregnancy was uncomplicated! It contrasted with my first one, which might have echoed Mary’s apprehension and curiosity. Like Mary’s experience, my husband wasn’t initially thrilled about my first pregnancy, leading to emotional turmoil. My dream of motherhood clashed with the challenges of medical complications, which labeled my pregnancy as high-risk. While overjoyed, I felt conflicted, as perhaps Mary did. I wondered if I had done something terribly wrong.
When reflecting on my pregnancy, it’s not hard for me to imagine that Elizabeth and Mary faced their diverse emotions just as I did. I’m pretty sure the feelings darted all around. The joyous anticipation, the unforeseen challenges, and the conflicting emotions bubbling up inside.
I experienced all kinds of emotions all at the same time. For me, there was no other life experience that came close. It was like being on a rollercoaster, with its ups and downs, having a massage day at the spa while enjoying your favorite ice cream cone while crying – all rolled up into one.
The Miracle of Emotions
Just as God chose Elizabeth and Mary to play pivotal roles in the Nativity Story, God may have chosen a man named Mark to play a significant role in my first pregnancy. Mark was the counselor at the clinic. He was kind and empathetic. He guided my then-husband and me through our whirlwind of emotions and encouraged us to stay strong.
Toward the end of pregnancy, the anticipation. The unknown. The praying. The closeness to God.
Praying for the baby.
Praying for the baby’s health.
Praying for stability.
Praying for a loving husband to be supportive.
Praying for the miracle of birth.
I felt that God was with me every step of the way. And I’m guessing Elizabeth and Mary felt that way too. Our pregnancies and the birth process were nothing short of a miracle. Like Elizabeth and Mary, I had a son. Then, six and a half years later, I gave birth to a second son. The experience of feeling different emotions at the same time was a miracle.
Have you considered asking God about the emotions you feel?
The next blog will explore The Miracle of Jesus’ birth.
Elizabeth and Mary were key players in the Christmas Story. Each had a unique role in giving birth under different circumstances. Yet, each was obedient to God and fulfilled their miraculous divine appointments.
We will continue our consideration of the Miracle of Birth theme by exploring the emotions swirling around in a woman’s head “with child.”
The Miracle of Emotions During Pregnancy
Source: Etsy Artist Unknown
We can all agree that emotions run all over the place in daily life, in some of us more than others. And certainly, more when pregnant. A woman’s first pregnancy is filled with an array of emotions that swirl around with her hormones, making them quite jumbled. From excitement…to…feelings of confidence sprinkled with inadequacies, it is a time in a woman’s life when success and failure take on a whole new meaning: Her baby solely depends on her. The woman is the incubator.
Yet, she is still a woman. She is trying to wrap her head around the never-ending changes in her body. She begins to think of her baby, herself, and the world around her.
She asks herself, “What is happening?”
The food cravings. The sexual desire. The baby. The father. The grandparents. The extended family.
Will I have a healthy baby? Why am I getting so fat? How else will my body change? How is my baby going to fit out of my body? Why does the smell of food make me sick? Why am I feeling this way? When will my nausea subside? How does one take care of a baby? Who will take care of the baby if I’m sick? How will I be as a mother? Will I be good enough? I have no experience. How will I manage all that is expected of me?
In the last post, we talked about Elizabeth’s backstory. How Elizabeth and Mary were cousins pregnant at the same time.
The Miracle of Birth – The Backstory of Mary
The story begins with Mary, a young girl, and her fiancé, Joseph.
Mary and Joseph were engaged.
Mary was a virgin, until the Holy Spirit visited and impregnated her, causing confusion for the pair. Not to mention family and friends as well. Theoretically, Mary was still a virgin.
*Artist: Stephen B. Whatley: Mary and The Holy Baby Jesus – St Stephen’s Day 2012 www.stephenbwhatley.com
“Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High.”
Angel Gabriel
Of course, Joseph was quite angry that his betrothed was “with child.” And he knew it wasn’t his!
Anger led to the Angel.
In a dream, an Angel visited Joseph and told him to care for Mary.
“Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”
Angel Gabriel
And so it was. Joseph and Mary were a couple, and they were destined to become parents. Parents of the long-awaited Messiah.
Pillars of Faith
Elizabeth and Mary were pillars of faith and obedience to God. And so were their respective partners, Zechariah and Joseph. Although Elizabeth was well beyond her childbearing years, it was miraculous for her to conceive. It was her pregnancy that served as a precursor to Mary’s virgin birth. Mary’s conception was even more miraculous because it symbolized the divine nature of the birth of the Christ-child that transcended all logical and biological thoughts and constructs.
Transcending All Logic
Faith transcends logic. To the logical mind, we must see proof before something can be believed. Yet, as people of faith, we don’t have to see evidence. We believe because we “feel” the Spirit of God within us. After all, we were made in the image of God. It sure is awesome to “feel” God’s presence. Yet, many of us feel dry. Unheard. Empty. We ask, “Where are you, God.” And the answer is silence.
Is it possible to have faith when you don’t “feel” God’s presence. Faith is a choice. Choosing to believe regardless of your feelings will reap rewards whether you “feel” them or not.
We Are The Clay
There hasn’t been a time in my life when God was absent. Of course, there were times when I thought he abandoned me. Like when I was bullied in junior high school. Or during my first marriage. Or during the divorce. But, I realized that God was walking me through the darkness. So I could come out the other side. Like a piece of fine pottery after being in the kiln’s heat.
Sometimes, we must surrender logic to fully feel the Holy Spirit in us. If you feel lost, perhaps try to talk to God? Ask God to reveal his image to you. To feel his presence. To walk with you on your life journey. God is the peace that passeth all understanding.
A Christmas Miracle – Part 4, will discuss the Miracle of Emotions During Pregnancy.
There is no doubt that Christmas time is a time of wonder and awe.
And what possibly could be more miraculous and wondrous than the Miracle of Birth? Today’s post begins with two special ladies from the New Testament who give birth to two extraordinary baby boys.
Elizabeth and Mary. Both mothers conceive according to God’s divine plan. We will explore each one separately.
The Miracle of Birth – The Backstory of Elizabeth
Let me set the stage.
Artist Credit: Of Knowledge Painting by Kd Neeley
Mary and Elizabeth are cousins and are pregnant at the same time. Elizabeth is an older, more mature woman married to Zechariah, a priest. Elizabeth was barren, and she and her husband longed for a child, yet they knew time was running out.
Why were children so important in Biblical Times?
At that time, children were a sign of God’s favor. Since Zechariah was a priest, it is easy to imagine people talking behind their backs about them being childless. How could a priest not have children? They must have been the talk of the town. Until…
Gabriel.
The Angel who pays a visit to Zechariah.
Elizabeth & Son, John the Baptist
Gabriel not only tells Zechariah that Elizabeth will bear a child, but his name will be John, and that the baby would grow to be a man who would prepare the way for the Lord.
Just like Sarah laughed in disbelief when God told her she would have a baby in her old age, Zechariah doubted this message from God. Because Zechariah doubted, he could not talk until the baby was born. God silenced him.
Little did Zechariah know at the time that John would be the voice calling in the wilderness.
“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”
Matthew 3:2
The Voice of God
Have you ever heard a voice calling in the wilderness? Or God speak to you directly? Or witness a profound moment in which it felt God intervened on your behalf?
Once, I was in my car heading west on Route 1 from Hoboken to Maplewood, NJ. There was traffic, and a car stopped abruptly in front of me. There was no time to react. Yet, I felt an unnatural force stop my car from hitting the car in front of me. I remember thanking my guardian angel to this day.
Similarly, once, I was traveling from Hoboken to Stamford, CT. It was in a blizzard. As I was rounding a corner in Tarrytown, several cars spun out and collided. My car spun out, too. But my car landed in a small ditch. Sure, I was rattled. But I was safe. My car was safe. And I was able to drive the rest of the way home. Once again, my guardian angel was watching over me.
God and his army of angels tend to show up when you least expect them. I’d love to hear about your experiences with God.
In the next post, we will continue this theme of The Miracle of Birth. We will further explore the mothers who gave birth to two religious leaders who changed the world.
To faith-based people, Christmas is the celebration of the birth of their savior, Jesus.
Most of us are familiar with the significant elements of the Christmas Story, or as some might say, the Nativity Story. Like baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the manger. Then came the shepherds and the wise men.
The Bible definitely doesn’t wrap stories up with neat bows. They are often confusing and void of details. Yet, the Bible has withstood through the ages as the most significant piece of literature of all time.
Why?
Because its words pierce the heart and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to each one of us uniquely. And maybe the Bible was written just for you and me!
The Miracle of Motherhood
Before we can appreciate and fully understand the meaning of Jesus’ birth, we need a refresher on noteworthy mothers in the Bible. We begin today’s post with the miracle of motherhood.
In the Bible, several women give birth to baby boys, who become some of the greatest leaders in the Bible. These Old Testament women faced infertility and were initially unable to conceive. Some were even past child-bearing age! Yet, through God’s divine plan, each went on to experience the miracle of birth.
Sarah & Son, Isaac
There is Sarah, the wife of Abraham, who becomes pregnant and gives birth to Isaac (Genesis 21:1).
Rebecca & Twins, Esau & Jacob
Interestingly, next is Rebecca, the wife of Isaac, who gives birth to twins Esau and Jacob (Genesis 25:25-26).
Rachel & Son, Joseph
After Rebecca comes Rachel, Jacob’s wife. Jacob is the man who married Leah by mistake (wearing a veil in the bridal tent) and then has to work seven more years for his Uncle Laban’s approval to marry his true love, Rachel. Rachel becomes the mother of Joseph (Genesis 30:22).
Manoah’s Wife & Son, Samson
Then, there is the unnamed woman who is Manoah’s wife. She conceives and gives birth to Samson.
Hannah & Son, Samuel
Next is Hannah, who cries out to God and finally has Samuel. After weaning, she presents Samuel to Eli, the Priest, who then raises Samuel in the house of God (1 Samuel 1:20).
Each of these women was deeply spiritual. They each cried out and prayed fervently for a child. Some, for decades. Sarah even laughed when God promised Abraham descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky. She waited more than fourteen years for the prophecy to come to fruition.
The Miracle of Surrender
These women who become mothers teach us that God controls even the minute details of our lives. Even though the Bible may be devoid of details, there is nothing in this world that God does not know. There is a plan for you and for me.
How do we ensure we are doing what God wants us to do? For me, the first step is surrender.
We need to let go and let God.
When we give ourselves to God, we open ourselves to new possibilities. New doors to open and go through. You will only know what is on the other side of the door if you open it.
Reflecting on a point of surrender in my life, a pivotal moment stands out – back in 2015. Faced with a failed job search in the tri-state area, I turned to prayer. “God, I surrender and will go where you lead.”
The Miracle of a Dream Come True
I expanded my job search nationwide, leading to a surprising job offer in Arkansas. Little did I know what God had in store for me. My dream of teaching academic courses was fulfilled a few short years later. Only God knew of that dream, and it came true!
How do these biblical stories relate to you and your life’s journey? Has there been a time in your life that you surrendered to God? I’d love to hear about it.
As we close, may this Christmas be a time for you to be open to the possibilities of what might lie ahead.
Princess Diana was warm-hearted, zesty, and full of spunk. She had the gift of knowing what to say and when. She didn’t overstep her bounds, yet she was able to get her point across through action and facial gestures. Diana knew that her every move was being microscopically scrutinized. And she learned how to use this to her advantage. Her early childhood dance lessons taught her to focus on movement with grace. And that she did throughout her life.
Even during the dark days of her marriage, she could hold her head up high and get through the day. Yes, she experienced the trauma of an adulterer. Which led to various ways of healthy and unhealthy coping. Yet, she pulled through and continued to push herself to greatness.
The greatness of humanitarian work.
The greatness of being a good mother.
The greatness of advocating for good mental health care.
“I want to do, not just to be.” – Diana, Princess of Wales.
Princess Diana warmed the heart of nations. She left an indelible mark on society, and that mark was to SIEZE THE DAY!
Do what you love.
Tell people you love them.
Hug them.
ACT.
Reflecting on my mothering skills, I showed my children zest for life. By loving them. Hugging them. Supporting them. Encouraging them.
To try.
To do their best.
To pursue their passions.
My kids were cub scouts and played t-ball, baseball, soccer, tennis, football, and lacrosse. They learned to swim and pursued the discipline of tai kwon do. They sang in the children’s choir for years and went to Sunday school. They were tutored and were tutors. They played keyboard, trombone, clarinet, and saxophone. They spoke French and Spanish. They were golf caddies. They graduated from respectable universities.
And they were two sons with divorced parents – unlike me.
Like Diana, my marriage failed miserably, and my zest was zapped. It led me on a dark path. Yet, after I spent time wallowing in my sorrow, I picked myself up. Thanks to God who whooped me in the pants to stop feeling sorry for myself.
I felt transformed. Full of zest. Full of life. And love to give. And receive. Freely. It was and still is a wonderful feeling.
Carpe Diem!
It isn’t easy the seize the day, every day. There are hindrances, like migraines or feeling tired. Or plain ole–old age. Yet, I have a bubble inside of me waiting to burst. To love and to be loved. When I love, I love hard.
What is the key to life? For me, it is creating a more peaceful and compassionate world. One where we seek to understand and respect our differences.
To live humbly.
To live with a purpose.
To inspire others.
To hope.
To love.
To as the University of Ozarks’ motto is, “Live life more fully.”
Love one another. Inspire one another. Laugh with one another and cry with one another. With vim, vigor, and a dose of zest!
I and Thou Reflections 