iandthoureflections

I and Thou: Spirit of the Dream

Image Credit: Creative Commons
John Atkinson Grimshaw [1836-1893]- Spirit of the Night

Spirit of the Dream

“Hush, my child,”
The Spirit gently whispers,
“Close your eyes tight and imagine a fairy dancing in the dark.”

The Spirit exhales a welcoming breeze,
A smile cracks from supple lips,
“Sleep well, dream. Fly and soar!”

The fairy spreads its wings and flies to every corner of the mind,
From past to future and back again,
Reality to fantasy, a veil separates the two.

Through the fears and the hopes,
The memories and the visions,
Celestial music softly invites.

“Dream, fly and soar. Bring joy to souls.
Creativity and wisdom depend on your magic wand.
Open your eyes and bring wonder to those who seek.”

The fairy waves their wand, sprinkles fairy dust all around.
The Spirit bellows, “Show the world hope and grace,
For all of us to explore.”

O Spirit of the Dream, fill us with your heavenly peace.

I and Thou: Spirit of the Sun

*Artist Credit: JimFrishArt https://www.etsy.com/listing/232019139/abstract-original-painting-of-sun-burst*

Spirit of the Sun

Spirit called,

From the heavens, like a giant waking from slumber.

“Wake up, Sun. Arise and shine!”

The Sun stretched its rays to every granule of sand.

From east to west,

And north to south, a compass leading its path.

Through the clouds and the fog,

The smog and the early morning mist.

Angelic voices boldly commanded,

“Sun, rise and shine and bring warmth to the land.

Vegetation and humans depend on your care,

Open your arms and bring comfort to those in need.“

Shine your light on a path for us to see,

O Spirit of the Sun, soak us with your mystery.

I and Thou: The Freedom to Return Home

*Image Credit: Author Alfred Gatty (1809-1873), published by Bell and Daldy, London*
*(PD-US-expired)*

The Freedom to Return Home

A baby bird in a cage, like an infant in a crib.

Tweets, hops, and flutters, but cannot fly away.

Sits on a perch, swings, back and forth.

Days turn to weeks, weeks flow into months.

Months become years, contemplating direction.

Quick. Smart. Wise.

The cage door opens and opportunity knocks,

Whispering softly, “Come out, come out.”

Independence calls, leaping out in joy,

“Go, find your destiny, not by happenstance.”

Genetics. Nature. Nurture. Self.

There is a hesitation.

Contemplating what lies ahead.

The cage door opens and out flies an eagle.

Tall. Slender. Piercing eyes. Determined.

Solo flight amid internal turmoil.

Triumphantly soaring above the trees.

Heart. Stops. Instantly. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Circumstances warrant rebirth.

Chirping. Singing. Flapping. Swinging. Transforming. Courage.

Homecoming.

Lessons Learned from Princess Diana – Lesson #10

Lesson #10: Carpe Diem

The final Lesson Learned from Princess Diana will focus on her zest for life. And how she seized the day with gusto!

Zest for life is a feeling of enjoyment and enthusiasm for living.
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/zest-for-life

Princess Diana was warm-hearted, zesty, and full of spunk. She had the gift of knowing what to say and when. She didn’t overstep her bounds, yet she was able to get her point across through action and facial gestures. Diana knew that her every move was being microscopically scrutinized. And she learned how to use this to her advantage. Her early childhood dance lessons taught her to focus on movement with grace. And that she did throughout her life.

Even during the dark days of her marriage, she could hold her head up high and get through the day. Yes, she experienced the trauma of an adulterer. Which led to various ways of healthy and unhealthy coping. Yet, she pulled through and continued to push herself to greatness.

The greatness of humanitarian work.

The greatness of being a good mother.

The greatness of advocating for good mental health care.

“I want to do, not just to be.” – Diana, Princess of Wales.
26 Princess Diana Quotes—Inspiring Quotes from the People’s Princess | Reader’s Digest (rd.com)

Princess Diana warmed the heart of nations. She left an indelible mark on society, and that mark was to SIEZE THE DAY!

Do what you love.

Tell people you love them.

Hug them.

ACT.

Reflecting on my mothering skills, I showed my children zest for life. By loving them. Hugging them. Supporting them. Encouraging them.

To try.

To do their best.

To pursue their passions.

My kids were cub scouts and played t-ball, baseball, soccer, tennis, football, and lacrosse. They learned to swim and pursued the discipline of tai kwon do. They sang in the children’s choir for years and went to Sunday school. They were tutored and were tutors. They played keyboard, trombone, clarinet, and saxophone. They spoke French and Spanish. They were golf caddies. They graduated from respectable universities.

And they were two sons with divorced parents – unlike me.

Like Diana, my marriage failed miserably, and my zest was zapped. It led me on a dark path. Yet, after I spent time wallowing in my sorrow, I picked myself up. Thanks to God who whooped me in the pants to stop feeling sorry for myself.

I felt transformed. Full of zest. Full of life. And love to give. And receive. Freely. It was and still is a wonderful feeling.

Carpe Diem!

It isn’t easy the seize the day, every day. There are hindrances, like migraines or feeling tired. Or plain ole–old age. Yet, I have a bubble inside of me waiting to burst. To love and to be loved. When I love, I love hard.

What is the key to life? For me, it is creating a more peaceful and compassionate world. One where we seek to understand and respect our differences.

To live humbly.

To live with a purpose.

To inspire others.

To hope.

To love.

To as the University of Ozarks’ motto is, “Live life more fully.”

Love one another. Inspire one another. Laugh with one another and cry with one another. With vim, vigor, and a dose of zest!

I and Thou: Spirit of the Wind

Spirit of the Wind

Wind inhales north to south,
East to west and back again.

Wind exhales seeds near and far,
Up and down the hills and dales.

Mountains, valleys, and plush green pastures,
Wind scatters treasures everywhere.

An angel whispers, “In your sorrow,
Sway with the trees and stay awhile.”

“There you will find comfort, love, and solitude,
To reflect, replenish, and refresh.”

Spirit of the Wind knows no end,
Gentle yet fierce, walking by your side.

Lessons Learned from Princess Diana – Lesson #9

Lesson #9: Embrace Who You Are

Princess Diana was a cross between Oprah Winfrey, JK Rowling, Audrey Hepburn, and Mother Theresa. Her charismatic yet shy and soft-spoken demeanor displayed an introverted personality that magically transformed when in the limelight. Her humble, compassionate, and deep caring for the disadvantaged undoubtedly earned her a sainthood-like status. Her global presence captured her individuality, leading her to become the People’s Princess.

Diana entered the royal family as a timid and sensitive young woman and left with a strong sense of selfhood. Along the way, she expressed her individuality by sharing topics of conversation that were once taboo and then became commonplace, such as mental health, HIV/Aids, and banning landmines. Her authenticity made her all the more loveable.

Reflecting on my youth, I remember struggling with living up to high religious expectations. I couldn’t reach the bar. It was too high. Instead, I marched to a different drum. The turning point for me was my first work performance review. I finally felt seen and heard. It was a great feeling! For the first time, I felt valued and appreciated for who I was and what I could do. It gave me the confidence to be myself and pursue my passions.

However, life was not easy. After getting married and starting a family, I faced challenges and disappointments. Slowly the unrealistic expectations of a “happily ever after” and not hitting the bar eroded my self-esteem. Like waves pounding rocks into pebbles and pebbles into the sand, I, like Diana, felt insecure as my self-confidence withered away.

I turned to God and surrendered. White flag and all. My life needed to be nurtured and nourished like a garden of herbs and spices to combat the erosion it was facing. After my failed marriage, I met my life partner, and we learned to tend the garden in tandem. Together is better when two people are in sync and not in a tug-of-war.

Like Princess Diana, I learned that embracing who you are is the key to happiness. It’s important to be true to yourself and not try to live up to unrealistic expectations. By being authentic and genuine, we can inspire others to so too. Diana’s legacy continues to inspire people around the world. We can leave our own legacy by being a blessing to others by being kind, compassionate, and empathetic. By sharing our experiences and being vulnerable, we can encourage and support others who may be going through similar struggles. Doing so can create a ripple effect of positivity that can change the world, one person at a time.

Lessons Learned from Princess Diana – Lesson #8

Lesson #8: Be Kind

*Image Credit: David Gray / Reuters found in the Public Domain of Images*

Princess Diana was known for her kind heart and generous spirit. What small acts of kindness did Princess Diana perform? She may have been the first royal person to touch someone without gloves publicly and was the first to touch someone with HIV/AIDS. Her willingness to see eye-to-eye with her public was a gesture of warmth and kindness as the Princess frequently stooped down on her walkabouts, especially to her young fans.

To instill kindness in her sons, Princess Diana often took them to homeless shelters, hospitals, and orphanages to expose them to all sides of humanity. She did this to inspire them to help others as they matured into adulthood. Diana was indeed a “People’s Princess.”

Reflecting on kindness and my childhood, I saw random acts of kindness from my dad. Whenever he saw a friend or a neighbor walking, he would offer them a ride. My mom showed kindness when she picked up the phone from a friend in need. She would listen and provide encouragement. I often heard her do this as she would say, “A ha and hmm.”

In my first marriage, I tried to exhibit kindness, and I did so for many years. Until I broke. I could no longer be kind-hearted when I felt so downtrodden and disrespected. Children mimicking adult behavior. Poor choice of words. Poor choice of actions. I woke up and realized I had contributed to a situation where I no longer wanted to be a part. I had reached my limit of kindness. Kindness was no longer found in my home, and I could not be the glue anymore.

A kind person apologizes. A kind person tries to discover new ways to approach old wounds. A kind person is supportive. Encouraging. Loving. Life must be filled with kindness, or it no longer supplies the needed oxygen to survive.

Kindness was important for Princess Diana because it gave her a sense of purpose, happiness, and connection with others. It also makes a positive change in so many lives. In Parades, Princess Diana’s Legacy of Kindness, by Roisin Kelly, Ms. Kelly writes this about Princess Diana, “She believed that kindness was the best way to show love and compassion in a world that often suffers from the disease of feeling unloved.” And I believe it too! My life now is ruled by kindness. Kindness is the cornerstone of my marriage. My home. My relationships.

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*Written with the assistance of New Bing AI for research purposes

Lessons Learned from Princess Diana – Lesson #7

Lesson #7: Stand Up for What You Believe In

Princess Diana stood up for what she believed in. She used her voice to challenge the royal system and did things differently. Boy, did Diana do things differently. From breaking from the 1662 tradition of wedding vows, sending her boys to preschool, and wearing black at non-funeral events, she was a rebel in her own right.

Her subtle insistence. Her impish grin. Her brilliant mind. Princess Diana stood up for what she believed in and used her voice to advocate change. Once she realized she had a platform with the public, she wittingly raised awareness of taboo subjects such as HIV/AIDS, mental health, and banning landmines.

Princess Diana stood up for what she believed in by being a hands-on parent to her children. She went to great lengths to provide her children with “normal” kid things such as a Disney vacation, a McDonald’s happy meal, and participating in school events, such as the annual parent’s race, where Diana came in first place in 1988.** She broke royal protocol by being herself – a down-to-earth, fun-loving, jest-for-life person.

Marriage. Parenting. Divorce. Princess Diana stood up for what she believed in and lived a life where she instilled values of honesty, compassion, and kindness. She believed in fairness by fighting for a fair divorce settlement, including shared custody of her children. Diana worked tirelessly to provide a smooth transition for her children to limit the emotional damage divorce does to children. Above all else, she loved her children. She believed in them.

In reflecting on my life, standing up for what I believe in seemed to be a challenge for me. Most likely, stemming from childhood trauma. From that time forward, I felt that I had no voice. It took decades to realize these traumas impacted my relationships far more significantly than I realized then. First marriage. Parenting. Divorce. In my first marriage, I was viewing life through a particular lens. A lens that was colored. Dark. Unfocused. Unable to see the murkiness. Until one day. One day, it all came into focus. It was the day my then-husband did the unspeakable. All in a flash, I saw the truth. And pain.

I was willing to do the hard work, like Princess Diana, of speaking my truth, which enabled me to leave a broken marriage, better myself as a mother, and remarry and become the wife I was meant to be. Standing up for myself has allowed me to be free. Free from harsh words. Free from unkindness. Free from disrespect.

Like Diana, I, too, was a supportive mom to my sons in their growing-up years. I have been and always will be their best cheerleader. Princess Diana inspired millions of people around the world. I have inspired a few here and there too. Diana gradually realized she had a platform to use her voice over time as she gained more confidence as a royal. She also was “just a mom.” She used her voice to speak out against injustice and advocate change. Change in what vows are read at weddings, how we can parent and fulfill career responsibilities at the same time, and why it is necessary to have good mental health.

I am trying to be more like Diana. I speak about estrangement. It is an injustice. I want to bring awareness of how estrangement rips families apart. The other day, a Rabbi called it “psychological murder.” Although it seems harsh, I couldn’t agree more. Knowing your child lives somewhere but not exactly sure where, not having a way to tell whether he reads texts or emails, is like a slow death. Over and over. Each time the phone rings. Each time email is checked. Each time mail is retrieved from the mailbox. Will I ever hear from my son? Parents must be held accountable for alienating themselves, their children, their parents, and extended family members from others including, the other “targeted” parent. The court system must be held accountable for perpetuating broken relationships. Let’s fix it. Together. Together is better.

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*https://www.thelist.com/288119/14-times-princess-diana-broke-strict-royal-rules/
**https://www.newsweek.com/fact-check-princess-diana-break-royal-protocol-school-moms-race-1738917
Written with the assistance of new Bing AI for research purposes.

Lessons Learned from Princess Diana – Lesson #6

Lesson #6: Embrace Vulnerability

Image Source: hotcore dot info/babki/
lady-diana-cooper-quotes dot htm

Princess Diana used her public image and royal status to bring humility and honesty to the field of mental health. The life and legacy of Princess Diana embraced the vulnerability of others and, more poignantly herself. In her openness to her personal challenges, she may have unwittingly encouraged us all to confront our demons and seek professional help.

Princess Diana openly spoke about her battles with depression, self-doubt, and postpartum depression. By sharing her experiences, she humanized mental health issues and sparked conversations that were often considered taboo. This applied to her marriage woes as well. Diana had a knack for deeply relating to the public in many ways. After her troubled marriage became public knowledge, she openly discussed her challenges, allowing others struggling to feel seen and heard. She was a trailblazer.

As a teenager and young woman, I dreamed of creating a nurturing and safe space for my children. I imagined a warm and fuzzy place where heart-to-heart talks would be encouraged. I pictured two parents on the same page of the “Parenting Book.” But it didn’t end up that way as my children were growing up. The parents who I grew up with, that made me feel safe and loved and taught me how to be expressive by holding hands and kissing, were not the parents my children had. And yes, this still haunts me every now and again.

Reflecting on my journey of vulnerability as a parent, “I need to put on the oxygen mask first,” thinking comes to mind. I saw the benefit of counseling and sought it several times during and after my first marriage and a few times before my second marriage. I realized that two-way communication was the secret sauce in healthy relationships.

Good mental health requires people to be open and honest with themselves, their partners, and their children. Counseling requires hard introspective work, and many are just not ready to make that commitment. Often more time is needed to be ready for counseling. Or a fixed mindset prevents them from seeing the benefits of therapy or any help or assistance in general. It takes courage to acknowledge and express our true selves. Princess Diana showed the world that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but of strength that fosters connection, empathy, and understanding. All of which necessitate some form of communication.

A smile.
A warm touch.
A glance.
A laugh.
A text.
An email.
A phone call.

I acknowledge moments of self-doubt, uncertainty, and the poor navigating of the often-hard road that parenting requires. Yet, I did something right because my children turned out to be okay. Both graduated from top-notch universities. Both are independent. Both are genuinely kind people if you dig deep enough. I’m sure we could agree that healthy relationships are vital in today’s ever-changing world. Even tricky words, we occasionally need to hear, are worth the effort.

Lessons Learned from Princess Diana – Lesson #5

Lesson #5: Be Compassionate

Princess Diana showed compassion in her daily living. She was compassionate toward herself, her family, and the global world. She empathized with those who struggled. Her warm nature bubbled out of her. Princess Diana had a particular type of charisma that was soft and infusive. It slowly dripped and left a trail where ever she went. From her impish grin to her sensitive, loving eyes, she brought authenticity to the monarchy like none other.

Photo Credit: Tim Graham/Getty Images in the Public Domain

One of Princess Diana’s most memorable moments of compassion was when she began her campaign for those suffering from AIDS. She publicly touched people with the disease early on, maybe even before anyone else. She shook hands and hugged the vulnerable. Now, we can look back and say that AIDS wasn’t contractable through touch. But then. No. The disease was new. There was misinformation everywhere. Very similar to when Covid hit in early 2020. There was speculation and a frenzy. Yet, Princess Diana believed that people who had AIDS were still people. Human. And they needed to be loved.

Princess Diana instilled her compassionate nature in her children. She took every opportunity to expose them to the real world. She did not want them to live sheltered lives. Princess Di wanted to teach her children about love. Compassion. Those less fortunate.

Reflecting on my more active mothering years, I, like Princess Diana, tried to instill compassion in my children. I once brought my son to an inner-city church to serve Thanksgiving Dinner to the homeless. I wanted my children to know that there were those less fortunate. I wanted them to appreciate what they had.

As a parent, I tried to infuse love and warmth into our home. It was challenging because I felt the friction of a partner who seemed to undermine every move I made. The more I wanted something, the more my partner fought against it. It was like an oil and vinegar thing. I know now that we were both working through childhood trauma. Whether he would admit that now is anyone’s guess.

Compassion and empathy are traits that can be taught by action. The world will improve if we commit ourselves to be less judgmental, more loving, and speaking kinder words. Princess Diana taught the world about compassion. A lesson undoubtedly worth learning.

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