I and Thou: Enduring Love

Help me to understand what will open an adult child’s heart,
To a mother who loves from the bottom of hers.

Enduring Love

Inhale, exhale, breathe
Radiant, brilliant, love
Angelic, darling, blessing
Heartwarming, tender, love
Soft, innocent, canvas
Soaking, smothering, love
Tantrums, reasoning, scolding
Defiance, anger, love
One sided, myopic, headstrong
Dagger, piercing, love
Words, spoken, unspoken
Heartbroken, apologetic, love
Emotions, escalating, uncontrollable

Turmoil, conflict, love
Exposure, external, culture
Influential, distant, love
Literal, physical, separation
Wretched, incomplete, love
Conjectures, puzzles, confusion
Murky, respectful, love
Reflections, introspection, self-identity
Safety, security, love
Vulnerable, open, inviting
Reparations, acceptance, love
Changing, growing, maturing
Compassionate, enduring, love.

Inhale, exhale, breathe
Radiant, brilliant, love
Angelic, darling, blessing
Heartwarming, tender, love
Soft, innocent, canvas
Soaking, smothering, love
Tantrums, reasoning, scolding
Defiance, anger, love
One sided, myopic, headstrong
Dagger, piercing, love
Words, spoken, unspoken
Heartbroken, apologetic, love
Emotions, escalating, uncontrollable
Turmoil, conflict, love
Exposure, external, culture
Influential, distant, love
Literal, physical, separation
Wretched, incomplete, love
Conjectures, puzzles, confusion
Murky, respectful, love
Reflections, introspection, self-identity
Safety, security, love
Vulnerable, open, inviting
Reparations, acceptance, love
Changing, growing, maturing
Compassionate, enduring, love.

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I and Thou – A Random Scroll of Love

My career services vocation started at Stevens Institute of Technology before the existence of social media. So, it was easy to lose track of the thousands of students who came and went over my thirteen-year tenure there. Yet, I did keep track of a few by the old-fashioned postcard or holiday greeting card method. Fast forward fifteen years, when Facebook and LinkedIn became integral to my daily routine. I could reconnect with hundreds of past and present students through these two social platforms. And what a delight it has been to see these awestruck young college graduates go off and live such extraordinary lives. I seldom comment although I give out thumbs-ups often. For me, it is a sign you matter. YOU do matter. And you matter to more people than you would imagine. It also, for me, doesn’t have anything to do with job title or success. It is all about love.

Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and found a delightful young couple posting a few of their recent wedding pictures. I met these fine people as college students in Arkansas. A little further down on the page, I saw a post from a student I met thirty years ago who was running the Philadelphia Marathon. Seeing the facial expressions on the couple and the runner was all about love. Love for each other. Love for passions. Love for life.

So, what seems to be a random scroll for some, for me, is someone’s life window and the privilege of peeking through.

Artist Credit: Fragments of My Childhood by Maria Varga-Hansen

Lessons Learned from Queen Elizabeth – Part 4

To recap:

Lesson #1: Duty and Love Rarely Mix Well
Lesson #2: Mothers Don’t Always Know Best
Lesson #3: There is a Big Difference Between Illusions, Delusions, and Reality

This brings us to the next lesson.

Lesson #4: Sometimes it is Important to Break Protocol

Divorce

Two children and eleven years later, the famous royal couple, Charles and Diana, separated in 1992 and officially divorced in 1996. After the divorce, their relationship seemed to be less ruffled. After all, they had 50/50 custody of their children, and for the sake of the children, they each tried to do better. By this time, Diana had more or less accepted the inevitable: the relationship between Camilla and Charles was there to stay.

Death and Conundrums

One year later, Princess Diana left this earth in a tragic auto accident outside Paris. This was where it got wonky. Was there a protocol for this situation? Would she be treated as a royal member of the family? Or not? Queen Elizabeth was silent. The “institution” was quiet. There was no official announcement for five days. The public was outraged. How could this be? 

Let’s set the stage.

  • Princess Diana, no longer a wife to Charles, was in France. 
  • Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip, Prince Charles, and the boys, William and Harry, were vacationing at Balmoral Castle in Scotland.
  • The “institution” was in England.

So, to start with, the deadly news was shocking. Shocking to the royal family. Shocking to the rest of the world. Because the public admired Diana’s resilience, honesty, and relatability, many loved her, and the tragic impact was felt around the globe. 

Royals are Human Too 

The royal family did what most families would do under these circumstances. They came together in solidarity to make the necessary arrangements, which were a bit fuzzy. First, there was the logistical nightmare of where all the key players were at the time of the accident, as cited above. Second, Princess Diana was no longer a member of the royal family. Or was she? She was undoubtedly the mother of the future King of England and Prince Harry. Thirdly, there were high expectations of a royal funeral. After all, she was still the People’s Princess. 

Diana’s Funeral & Broken Protocol

As the world began to mourn Diana’s death, it became apparent that a private funeral would not suffice. 

A spokeswoman for the palace told reporters, “This is a unique funeral for a unique person.” 

The Untold Truth Of Princess Diana’s Funeral (grunge.com) 
Image Credit: Daily Mail

Queen Elizabeth supported a private ceremony, while Prince Charles and Diana’s brother encouraged having a more significant event. We will never know why the Queen thought what she did. But by allowing the elaborate funeral procession, the Queen clearly said something without saying a word. (She broke protocol.) Queen Elizabeth also ordered the Union Flag to be flown at half-staff, another break from protocol. It was her way of, an apology of sorts. Perhaps from a mother-in-law who may not have responded as lovingly and kindly as she should have or may have even wanted to. Her bowing at the casket was a sincere tribute to Diana’s legacy.

Granny Elizabeth 

After Diana’s death, Queen Elizabeth seamlessly stepped more concretely into her grandmother’s role. A role she grew fond of as the years went on. She was the boys’ rock and was instrumental in their grief journey. 

Diana’s Legacy

Princess Diana, beautiful and graceful as she was, was human too. With her battle with bulimia, self-injury, and feelings of worthlessness, she brought a “freshness” to the monarchy as she became known as the “relatable” princess. With courage and bravery, she prioritized her mental health and sought help. Her actions brought significant awareness to mental health.

But what is often forgotten is that Diana was also a paradox: under the magnificently poised image she presented to the world, she struggled with bulimia, self-injury, and lingering feelings of worthlessness.

Princess Diana’s Legacy on Mental Health, Eating Disorders | Time

She did indeed relate to the public. She brought attention to so many issues. Her quiet yet charismatic personality charmed the world. Princess Diana’s life and death were tragic. The media responded with relentlessness, and the world responded with love.

Lessons Learned from Queen Elizabeth – Part 3

In Lesson #1, Duty and Love Rarely Mix Well. Queen Elizabeth chose duty over love twice. Once, her sister wanted to marry a divorced Mr. Townsend. Then she dissuaded Prince Charles from pursuing Camilla because she felt that Camilla was not “good enough” to be in the royal family.

Queen Elizabeth used her power and influence to derail the budding romance between Princess Charles and Camilla. In Lesson #2, we learned Mothers Don’t Always Know Best. We answered three questions. What does it mean to be “good enough?” What does it mean to be a positive role model? And what does it mean to be a suitable wife to a future king?”

Lesson #3: There is a Big Difference Between Illusions, Delusions, and Reality

Prince Charles and Diana

Prince Charles first met Diana when he was dating her sister, Sarah, in 1977. He delighted in Diana and her exuberance despite her being young and naive. In 1980, Prince Charles, 32, began dating Diana and six months later, in February of 1981, became engaged to Lady Diana Spencer, 19, the daughter of 8th Earl Spencer. So, right from the get-go, Diana had a title. As if to say to the world having a title makes you worthy. If you want to read more about worthiness, see “Lessons Learned from Queen Elizabeth – Part 2.”

An Illusion is What We See

The fairytale romance was not all that it seemed to be. Two weeks before their wedding, Diana found out that a personalized bracelet with Charles and Camilla’s nicknames had been given to Camilla from Charles a few days before the wedding. It did not sit well with Diana. Young and inexperienced, she wanted to call the wedding off. Yet, her sisters reminded her that her face was already on the tea towels. In other words, it was too late for Diana to back out. 

The pictures taken on her wedding day revealed a solemn young woman, seemingly carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and uncertain of what would be next for her and her Prince. The secret gift-giving gesture to another woman days before his wedding was downright cruel of Prince Charles. For Diana, doubt was cast. Even so, they ended up having the wedding of the century.

A Delusion is What We Think

Diana thought the “other woman” (Camilla) was the only woman who received a gift before the royal wedding.

Artist Credit: Delusion Painting by Soledad Lawrence at Saatchiart dot dom

Marrying a prince and adjusting to a royal life would be overwhelming for anyone. It would not be easy to navigate, no matter how “royal” you might be. Throw in another romantic partner to the mix, and the situation becomes electrically charged with deep-seated feelings and emotions. It would be easy to imagine how alone Diana felt with no one to talk to and not knowing who she could trust. Especially hearing and seeing Prince Charles through the lens of “that bracelet.” It was reported that Charles presented several women he had dated with gifts before his wedding as a “thank you/wish you well” sentiment. That very vital piece of information did not make its way to Diana.

“Well, there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.” – 1995

The Sydney Morning Herald

Attempting to master the pressures from the Queen, the “institution,” and the Public was what Princess Diana had to do. Eventually, not only did she acclimate, Diana became an icon for the royal family. Why? Because Diana was the People’s Princess. She had this innate ability to see people’s faces. All people. All emotions. She touched the sick. She hugged the children.

Reality Is What It Is

Prince Charles told Diana that he did not love her the night before the wedding because he “didn’t want to go into the marriage on a false premise.”

Prince Charles Confession Night Before Wedding was ‘Devastating’ for Princess Diana, by Jack Royston, Newsweek, 11/10/20 

Princess Diana still managed to convey a caring personality through the pain of feeling unloved by her husband. Genuine. Loving. Kind. Insomuch that it likely threatened the monarchy. Most certainly, it threatened Prince Charles or, at the very least, caused him great pain and humiliation as crowds of millions wanted to see her. Touch her. Present flowers to her. All the while as Charles walked separately and looked disgusted and defeated.

Charles placed “duty” over “love” by marrying the “right” type of person. Diana was. Camilla was not. The stark reality was that Diana loved Charles, Camilla loved Charles, and Charles loved Camilla. Charles did not love Diana. For most new brides, the illusion, delusion, and reality of another woman in their husband’s life would devastate their marriage, self-esteem, and overall mental health.

Lessons Learned from Queen Elizabeth – Part 2

In a nutshell, the takeaway message from my previous post, “Lessons Learned from Queen Elizabeth, Part 1,” was this: duty and love rarely mix well. We looked at duty and love specifically through the eyes of the Church – between the Queen and her sister Margaret and her son Prince Charles. In both instances, all parties chose duty over love. In accordance with prevailing church doctrine, Queen Elizabeth denied her sister’s request to marry the divorced Mr. Townsend. And decades later, Queen Elizabeth dissuaded Prince Charles from pursuing Camilla.

In Part 2, we will see how love and this sense of duty became increasingly muddled as time passed. We go back to the early 1970s, when Queen Elizabeth’s son, Prince Charles, fell in love with Camilla. Although Charles was smitten with Camilla, his family disapproved. And the Queen made it quite clear that Camilla didn’t fit the mold for Prince Charles. 

Lesson #2: Mothers Don’t Always Know Best
[Even if she IS the Queen]

Love and Worthiness

Most of us are familiar with the love affair of Camilla and Prince Charles. Meeting in 1971, it was widely reported that they had fallen head over heels for each. However, from the very start, this relationship would prove to be problematic. According to a book by Penny Junor, The Duchess: Camilla Parker Bowles and the Love Affair That Rocked the Crown, Camilla was not “perceived as aristocratic enough to be a princess.” Perhaps Queen Elizabeth didn’t think so either.

So, why was it so crucial for Queen Elizabeth to have a more “suitable” daughter-in-law? No one will know for sure, yet one can surmise it was due to the public’s perception that Camilla wasn’t “good enough.” In other words, this potential spouse of the prince would not be a positive role model. Would the future princess have what it took to be a royal? The Queen and many others no doubt didn’t think so. 

Credit: Abstract Art by Maren Devine on Etsy.com

Questions to Ask

What does it mean to be “good enough?”

What does it mean to be a positive role model?

What does it mean to be a suitable wife to a future king?

In Proverbs 31, characteristics of a godly woman include lacking nothing of value, opening her arms to the poor, exhibiting dignity and strength, and speaking with wisdom. No one would argue that it would take a unique, powerful woman to hold such a public office. The potential princess must have a sound mind and a sense of duty to the monarchy and her husband.

Back to Queen Elizabeth. No one would argue that the Queen put duty first. Clearly, she did not see Camilla as a suitable wife for Charles. And consequently, she did what she could to derail the Camilla and Charles romance. Had the Queen minded her own business, Camilla could have very well been Prince Charles’ first and only wife. For him, it was a matter of love. For his mother, it was a matter of duty to the monarchy, the Church of England, and its traditions.

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Lessons Learned from Queen Elizabeth – Part 1

Image Credit: “Symbolic Transom” Religious Stained Glass Window (stainedglassinc.com)

Introduction

In the next few weeks, I will share my insight into relationships in the Royal Family. There is much to learn, I promise. We will look at key players and how they finally found love. We will begin with duty and love. And how at the end of the day, the Royal Family puts on pajamas like the rest of us.

Lesson #1: Duty and Love rarely mix well.

Duty and Love

I have been following the Royal Family in bits and pieces. I am no expert by any means. What seems so obvious to me was how Queen Elizabeth was torn between duty and love for her family. I felt it first in her affection for her sister, Margaret. She loved her so. I can only imagine how painful it was for Queen Elizabeth to deny Margaret from marrying her soulmate, Peter Townsend, who happened to be a divorcee. The Church had a lot to say about divorce in 1955.

Then, in the 1970s, I saw the Queen’s influence on Prince Charles and his secret love for Camilla, who, in the Queen’s eyes, was not worthy enough for him. Camilla was a “party” girl, and the Queen thought she would not be a suitable princess. This signaled a sense of duty weighing much more heavily than love. This baffled me as the greatest commandment is to love one another. Nowhere in The Bible does it say to love only rich people. Or love only those in one’s same socioeconomic class. Then, again, his divorce, public love, and marriage to Camilla in 2005 seemed to snub The Church and its anti-divorce platform. 

Town & Country Magazine wrote, “A change in the Church of England’s rules about remarriage after divorce, which took effect in 2002, made it possible for Charles to marry Camilla. In an attempt to avoid controversy given their relationship history, the couple opted not to have a grand royal wedding, but instead married in a civil ceremony at the Guildhall in Windsor, and then had their marriage blessed by the Church in St. George’s Chapel. While the Queen approved of the marriage, she was not present at her son’s wedding ceremony. But she did attend the church blessing and reception.”

Fast forward to 2021. Prince Harry and Meghan. Not only did Prince Harry marry a divorced woman, but they were also married at St George’s Chapel in Windsor, England, where his father and Camilla received a blessing that preceded their civil marriage ceremony at Windsor Guildhall. We all are witnesses to the transformation that happened right in front of our eyes. In 16 short years, we went from a civil ceremony of Prince Charles and Camilla, two divorced royals, to a religious wedding ceremony in a cathedral of a divorced soon-to-be royal. I call that progress!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

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I and Thou: The Labor of a Diamond – Part 2

Photo Credit: found on https://www.thermofisher.com/blog/mining/the-diamond-shortage-the-hunt-for-kimberlite-and-new-high-quality-synthetics/

The Anatomy of a Diamond

In The Labor of a Diamond Part 1, you learned how and why diamonds are precious and rare. You also learned how complicated they are – from the scientific perspective of temperature, pressure, carbon, and crystals. Then, we went down the rabbit hole of an “old boys network.” Today, we start with its anatomy.

Have you ever wondered why a diamond looks the way it does? Do you even know the language used to describe diamonds? In the next few posts, a deeper dive into the mystery of diamonds will be explored, including the five c’s of carat, cut, color, clarity, and confidence. First, we start with the anatomy of a diamond, which has five parts. One facet will then be compared or contrasted to an aspect of a relationship between two people. Ready?

Picture an upside-down triangle where the point is at the bottom. Then, picture a trapezoid. Place the trapezoid on top of the upside-down triangle. Now, let’s place three points on the top of the trapezoid and three on the bottom, each equidistant to the other, with the last point at the bottom point of the triangle. You should have seven points on this image which is how we can imagine each section. Are you with me so far?

Table, Crown, and Girdle

The top three points of the flat line at the top of the diamond are called the Table. The Crown is the distance between the middle point of the top and bottom lines of the trapezoid. It is the top portion of a diamond, from the Girdle to the Table, where the Girdle is the bottom line of the trapezoid at its widest length. It is also known as the setting edge, where the diamond is held in the jewelry setting. I call it the base where the diamond sits in its setting.

Pavilion and Culet

The bottom point of the upside-down triangle, vertically up to the middle point of the bottom line of the trapezoid, is called the Pavilion. It is the lower part of the diamond. The Culet is the bottom point of the upside-down triangle, the bottom of the diamond. The middle point from the trapezoid’s top to the bottom point of the upside-down triangle is called the Depth. It is the height of the diamond from the Culet to the Table. So, are you with me so far? To identify the parts of a diamond, you will need to differentiate between Table, Pavilion, Culet, Crown, and Girdle.

Is what you pictured in your mind bear any resemblance to this?

Graphic Credit: https://mintdiamonds.com/pages/step-5-2-anatomy-of-a-diamond

Thoughts and Feelings

Is the anatomy of a diamond relevant? I’d say yes! What girl wouldn’t want to know more about diamonds? It is a girl’s best friend, right? Knowing anatomy provides a framework to discuss systems and processes like a diamond in a box with clear parameters and precise dimensions. A relationship, however, is different – certainly not something that can be put in a box! Sure, a basic understanding of systems and processes still applies here. However, there are more intrinsic elements to consider, such as thoughts and feelings, which will be a scrambled mess at some point in a relationship.

A Scrambled Mess

How can you prevent a scrambled mess? By listening to the unspoken word. People may respond to situations based on their childhood experiences, including wounds and traumas they may not even know they have. If your partner overreacts, dig deep and ask them about it. What is the unspoken word here? Ask them about their past thoughts and feelings.

I remember my first boyfriend. Captain of the track team. Rival school. Water-skier. Boater. Fun kind of guy. Plus, he had a driver’s license. He bought me a tiger’s eye necklace. I loved it! But then he broke up with me. From that moment on, I associated pain with Tiger’s Eye. See? A scrambled mess!

So, the next time you ask your partner if they would like a Tiger’s Eye, don’t be surprised if they want a Diamond instead!

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I and Thou – The Veggie Box

Logistics, Farmer’s Markets, Veggie Box

My younger son recently graduated from college and landed his first full-time job and apartment. Looking back, I wonder what role I played in his stick-to-itiveness attitude toward setting and, more importantly, achieving goals. It doesn’t really come as a surprise to me that he specializes in logistics. One of my favorite books was Cheaper by the Dozen, a tall telltale of time management. Time management and logistics? Hmm. I think these two are interdependent on one another. What do you think?

Goals are great if you can actually meet them. One of my goals is to eat healthily. Eating healthy has been a part of my life, except for the few years before and after college when I lived on fast food. In high school, I was on the track team. To keep up with all the practices and meets, my go-to smoothie was banana, orange juice, peanut butter, and a raw egg several times a week for an extra immune boost. I know, raw egg! I often wonder if this is why I am now allergic to eggs? My son likes to eat healthily now, too but did not when he would eat mostly macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, pizza, and cheese balls. 

Rural Arkansas taught me to appreciate fresh fruits and vegetables more than I already had. It was disappointing to peruse the local farmer’s market as they offered very little fruit or vegetables. Except, of course, at the peach festival in July, but only if they had a good yield. 

It was there, in rural Arkansas, in a large blue box store, that I saw for the very first time how customers placed their 12 packs of sodas and blue-colored electrolyte water bottles on the rim of their shopping carts. Mind you, most of these customers were overweight and had cookies, cakes, and lots of boxed foods in their carts. What happened to small-town good food? I was beginning to wonder. It just so happened I did survive living there, although I’m pretty sure it caused havoc on my digestive system; the mold, from a dining hall water leak, in my office wasn’t helping matters either. 

Artwork: Apples by Bob Orsillo

It is now my son’s turn to live in a rural town and find foods that make him sparkle. Recently, he discovered the veggie box! He drives once a week to a farm and picks up a box of assorted veggies. The mystery of not knowing what is in the box makes it fun! I absolutely love when he calls to tell me about his box. The best part? We chat about what meal options he can create with said veggies. Sometimes, he takes me to the grocery store (by phone). The funniest part? He’ll ask me where an item might be, and I’ll say – it’s next to so and so – and there it will be and says to me, “How did you know that?”

Because sometimes the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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I and Thou: The Labor of a Diamond – Part 1

Photo Credit: found on https://www.thermofisher.com/blog/mining/the-diamond-shortage-the-hunt-for-kimberlite-and-new-high-quality-synthetics/

Diamonds and The Old Boys’ Network

Have you ever wondered about diamonds? Why are they precious and rare? How do they form? And what about the diamond that has been in your family for generations? You may even wonder what in the world diamonds and The Old Boys’ Network have in common. When I was reading about diamonds, it reminded me of The Old Boys Network. Both seem to have been around for eons and each have bonding qualities. It does make a bit of sense, doesn’t it? Let’s first take a peek at diamonds.

Diamonds are complicated. I mean, over the top, engineering complicated because of its billion-year origin. According to The Smithsonian Magazine, “Diamonds are made of carbon, so they form as carbon atoms under a high temperature and pressure; they bond together to start growing crystals…[and]…are formed deep within the Earth about 100 miles or so below the surface in the upper mantle… There’s a lot of pressure, the weight of the overlying rock bearing down, so that combination of high temperature and high pressure is necessary to grow diamond crystals in the Earth.” (2006). 

And how do these diamonds make it to the surface of the Earth? Volcanoes. Fascinating, isn’t it? If any of these interests you, I would recommend researching the topic. It is simply brilliant!

The temperature.

The pressure.

The eruption.

The “pipes.”

As carbon atoms bond to crystals, which in turn become diamonds, I couldn’t help but think of how young men bond with more experienced men through The Old Boy’s Network. I wondered whether it was still alive and well. And if it was, what impact has it had on the labor force?

Frankly, I was surprised to learn Zippia reported a whopping 31.5% of today’s CEOs are female, while 68.5% are men. In 2010 females were at 26.27%. Yet, it is all a bit misleading when Quantic reports that 8.9% of Fortune 500 companies are females. That paints a very different story! I remember from my Stat I & II courses that you can make numbers support whatever you want. However, I will leave that topic for a future post. Men know this network is alive and well, especially at the upper-tier management level. You, ladies, know what I’m talking about. It’s no wonder that diamond relics remind me of the “old boy’s network.”

Stevens Institute of Technology, a historically male engineering school, accepted its first female class in 1971, representing 3% of the student population. In 1982, the first sorority appeared at Stevens; today, there are five. In fall 2021, Stevens enrolled 30% females and 70% males in its programs. It was equally compelling to see Stevens’ enrollment numbers parallel almost identically to CEOs’ male / female ratios. Kudos to Stevens!

This brings me back to the “old boy’s network.” What, then, is at play here? 

Networking

The infamous “they” said that 80% of all job hires came from networking decades ago. A quick browser search shows that the new number is between 70-85%. Quite striking to find out that even after all these years, networking is still a valuable tool in the job hunt. So, what is networking? Networking is a touch. It is a broad-based reaching catch-all phrase encompassing trying to connect with anyone who can hire you or knowing someone who can. It is very much like the Faberge shampoo commercial of 1986…”And they’ll tell two friends…And so on…And so on…And…” A modern-day LinkedIn.

Mentoring

When you speak to women who were trailblazers in their fields, they point to the importance of mentors. Mentors helped cultivate their knowledge into practical leadership skills, formal or informal. That is all well and good, yet, mentorship is not always available to everyone. The most successful businesses today recognize the importance of mentoring programs. In the “old boys’ network,” mentoring took place on golf courses, racquetball courts, or catching a drink at the local watering hole. Again, all well and good, yet are women being included? In my experience, not nearly enough. Nowadays, organizations such as Ten Thousand Coffees ask themselves how they can connect ten thousand leaders with ten thousand more leaders over ten thousand coffees. Leveling the playing field, at last! (hopefully).

Promotions

According to a recent Forbes article regarding research done at Harvard, the old boys’ network is still very much intact. It seems that if a male is working under a male manager, he will be promoted much faster than if he is operating under a female manager. In fact, the study stated, “on average, a 14.6% higher salary.” If we take the average professional salary, per ZipRecruiter, of $50,882 and add a 14.6% increase in salary, the number is $58,310.77. What would you do with an additional $7,423.77?

Elite colleges, ya gotta love them! Danielle Li of MIT “found that women employees were 14% less likely to be promoted than their male colleagues,” despite their higher performance review scores. Again, the old boy’s network is alive and well. This research was reported in 2022. Not much has really changed. Back in 1999, I was passed over for a promotion. My direct report was male, and he promoted my male counterpart. We had equal credentials, including high-performance scores (mine were higher) and an equal amount of experience. I also had seniority. I left shortly after.

Ms. Li talks about how males are likelier to leave a job when they aren’t promoted. “Men who were passed over for a promotion were 35%-40% more likely to leave than females; whereas women were only 10% more likely.” Not surprising. In most cases, females have to work harder, work smarter, and juggle more responsibilities than their male counterparts. In a recent Deloitte post, women who work in organizations that promote gender equality have higher productivity, engagement, and loyalty levels.

It seems that men and women can equally do well or fail in a job. Finding the diamond in the rough should not be that difficult. Managers need to, once again, level the playing field, and provide promotional opportunities as part of a specific career plan with achievable goals for all employees. Each person brings unique knowledge, skills, and abilities to the table. Let’s do a better job creating more diamonds to sparkle throughout the workplace.

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References

Facts and Statistics – Stevens Institute of Technology

Diamonds Unearthed | Science| Smithsonian Magazine

How Many Fortune 500 CEOs Are Women? And Why So Few? – The Quantic Blog

This Mentorship Platform Connects Young Professionals To CEOs In More Than 40 Industries (Forbes. com)

Professional Salary ($50,882 – October 2022) ZipRecruiter

Women are less likely than men to be promoted. Here’s one reason why | MIT Sloan

https://www2.deloitte.com/us/en/insights/topics/value-of-diversity-and-inclusion/strengthening-women-workers-loyalty-after-the-pandemic.html

I and Thou: Forgive Me

Art Credit: A Forgiving Heart by Fania Simon

Forgive Me

Forgive my crushed spirit.
Forgive my loving eyes.
Forgive my hurtful words.
Forgive my lack of attention.
Forgive my different wavelengths.
Forgive my trivial treasures.
Forgive my unmet expectations.
Forgive my passing judgments.
Forgive my lengthy inaction.
Forgive my jealous thoughts.
Forgive my coveting of others.
Forgive my impatience.
Forgive my open wounds.
Forgive my sweet gaze.