Relationships – Page 3 – I and Thou Reflections

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #6

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Weight of Holding It All Together

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill is lying in bed, reflecting on the support and encouragement she’s received from her friends.

I roll over, and my thoughts shift to Sandy, Amelia, Carla, and Suni. My friends. My support network.

I’m so grateful for Amelia and Sandy. They’ve listened with such compassion. Still, I feel guilty… Our conversations have been so lopsided. I’m doing all the talking—about my struggling marriage. They’re doing all the listening.

But it’s making a difference. Little by little, I’m starting to make sense of things.

I’m like a glass full of water. No more capacity. Not one more drop. I can barely keep myself together.

But I have faith. Faith that by talking more about this, I’ll find clarity. God, help me be patient.

Finally, I drift off to sleep.

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt like you’re barely keeping it all together?

Throughout life, there are times when the illusion of being “put together” prevails. There’s often a silent expectation to wear a mask and manage it all with grace. An impossible task for anyone.

Jill’s reflection reminds us that it’s often not one huge burden but many small ones. And they can overfill our emotional cups. It’s the mental checklist. The laundry. The lunches. The forced smile you plaster on your face.

Then, there is guilt.

It creeps in.

The guilt of being the one always talking. The guilt of not asking about someone else’s day. The guilt of surviving but not thriving. It is that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

In Wine and Faith, Jill learns you don’t need to wear a mask among friends. They love you for who you are and meet you there, where ever that is.

She discovers that real friends are there for you through thick and thin. Even if the relationship feels unbalanced. She pours out her soul – and realizes that’s okay.

Your friends see you. God sees you. And that is enough.

Haiku

Steady as a stone,
Friends anchor us in life’s storms,
Shielding us from harm.

Reflective Questions

What areas of your life feel emotionally maxed out?

Where are you pouring out more than you’re being filled?

What might it look like to receive support without guilt?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #WalkingOnEggshells #UnmetExpectations #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #5

A Reflection Series for Stress Awareness Month

The Stress of Unmet Expectations

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill is reading a journal entry she had written in the early stages of her pregnancy. She is reflecting on feeling ignored by her husband, Derek.

Dear God,

Why is Derek appalled by my big tummy?

Growing a human within is a sacred experience. Yet, I feel as though I have the plague. I never imagined this! I expected more compassion, respect, touching – caressing, and kissing. Being pregnant doesn’t mean I have lost my physical urges. If anything, they have intensified. Maybe I’m trying too hard or expecting too much. What if my “condition” turns off Derek? All I know is it makes me so sad.

Please help me to understand why Derek is this way. Guide me, Oh, Lord. Fill my heart with more love and patience. Thank you for the miracle of life.

Amen

Faith Reflection

Have you ever expected someone to show up with compassion only to be met by distance instead? Like they checked out?

Unmet expectations—especially from those we love—can cut deep. You thought you’d be celebrated and cherished. But instead, you find yourself grieving an intimacy that is no longer there.

We start to ask questions:
What is wrong with me?
What did I do?

We second-guess our needs. We blame our emotions. We wonder why our partner is not talking to us. Or even trying to understand us?

The pain of unmet expectations is real. It doesn’t mean we are too needy. It’s a sign that we are human.

Jill’s broken heart is subtle yet profound. It cuts us at our core. The longing to be seen and touched. Especially during one of the most vulnerable times of a woman’s life. But Derek’s silence speaks louder than words.

Jill doesn’t scream or sob. She writes. It is there, in the journal, that she begins to face the truth that she is alone in her marriage. Something she never imagined.

God sees this disappointment.

You see me. — Genesis 16:13 (Hagar’s words to God)

Even when others do not respond to your needs, God does. His presence meets you in the quiet.

Disappointment is a form of grief.

Name it.
Hold space for it.
And trust that God holds space for you, too.

Haiku

A kiss, an embrace,
Our heart yearns for connection,
In untouched spaces.

Reflective Questions

Where do you feel emotionally disconnected?

And how might you begin naming that, even gently?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #WalkingOnEggshells #UnmetExpectations #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #4

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Stress of Walking on Eggshells

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

It’s the day before Jill’s trip to Napa. Her husband, Derek, enters the bedroom.

Derek: “Jill, what in the world are you doing?” Derek’s tone exuded disbelief.
Jill: “I’m packing,” I said calmly.
Derek: “…Stop packing!… You’re not going anywhere. Who do you think you are?…”
Jill: … “You told me to go to Amelia’s…You and Dr. Kate agreed…”
Derek: “I didn’t mean that literally. Are you stupid, Jill?”
Jill: “No… Are you saying I shouldn’t believe anything you say?…”
Derek: “…. Go! Get out of here! Good riddance.”

He stormed out of the bedroom in a huff.

Faith Reflection

Have you ever had the feeling of being one misstep away from a blow-up? Or a sense that your words are twisted despite your calm tone and kind intentions?

When we feel this psychological wear and tear, it is exhausting. Over time, the body stays on high alert. Trapped in a never-ending loop of fight-or-flight. Eventually, emotions become harder and harder to regulate.

You begin to second-guess yourself. Then, you start to wonder if you’re the crazy one.

But sometimes, this feeling of walking on eggshells is a signal. It tells us that something needs to change.

In Wine & Faith, Jill isn’t just packing a suitcase. She’s on a quest to unpack years of silent suffering, invalidation, and anxiety.

She is stepping into a place of self-preservation. A sanctuary where she can confront the reality of her life.

To reflect.
To unravel the complexities.
To seek clarity amid the chaos.
To reclaim her identity.

In this pivotal scene, Jill clings to the hope of transformation.

Jill stands up and draws a line in the sand. She wants the walking on eggshells to stop. But Derek sees this moment as a betrayal. A boundary crossed.

God sees Jill’s line. And He honors it.

Even when others twist your words or belittle your truth, God never will.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

God knows what was said, what was done, and how it made you feel. He is our safe place.

Haiku

Words dig deep within
Crackling eggs beneath my feet
Divine presence awaits

Reflective Questions

Have you ever felt like you had to watch every word or action to avoid someone’s anger? How did it affect your sense of peace, trust, or identity?

What boundary do you need to place (or reinforce) to reclaim peace in your inner sanctuary?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #WalkingOnEggshells #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #3

The Weight of Emotional Isolation

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

This dialogue takes place after Jill and Derek attend a parenting workshop.

Jill: “Derek, what did you think of the workshop?”

Derek: “Well, you know, it is all psychobabble. Goals. Talking together. What is the point? Our kids are fine…”

He doesn’t get it, does he? Can’t he see that he is too authoritarian? It was his way or the highway, which left me feeling like chopped liver.

Faith Reflection

Have you ever been surrounded by people and still feel alone?

Emotional isolation is feeling disconnected despite being physically present. It is a heavy burden. Relationships thrive on mutual understanding and validation.

When you try to share your thoughts, and they’re met with dismissal, it can feel like your voice is lost. Like you don’t matter. This lack of connection breeds loneliness and mistrust. It’s like the person you want to count on and have your back – has checked out.

In Jill’s story, she longs for a moment of mutual understanding but is met with a wall of indifference instead.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. – Psalm 55:22

This verse reminds us that God sees our pain. Even when it is hidden from others.

When you feel isolated, turn to the One that is always there.
God!

God knows your heart and hears your cries. Go ahead. Bear your soul. Let God lift the burden from you.

Haiku

Spoken words dissolve
Into a sea of loneliness
Where God whispers love.

Reflective Questions

When was the last time you felt emotionally isolated? How did you cope?

What steps can you take to make your voice heard?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #2

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Stress of Feeling Invisible

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill is confiding in her friend Amelia about feeling invisible in her marriage.

Amelia: “Do you feel invisible with Derek?”

Jill: “Incredibly so. I’ll tell you a quick story. My friend Carla and I rearranged the living room one afternoon, having a great time mixing things up. When we got back from the store, Derek had moved everything back without saying a word. When I asked about it, he snapped, ‘I will do what I want. You are not the boss of me!’ I felt dismissed, like my preferences didn’t matter.”

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt invisible to someone you love?

It’s not a great feeling. Is it?

It’s a unique kind of loneliness. You are physically present yet emotionally disregarded or ignored. This type of feeling creates distance. Not only that, it attacks your self-worth, and you begin questioning.

Yourself.
Others.
And God.

In relationships, it’s natural to want to be noticed.

To be acknowledged.
To be affirmed.
These are fundamental building blocks of a relationship.

When others brush aside our efforts or desires, it’s easy to question our value. Jill’s story reflects the tension between longing to connect and being met with indifference.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted – Psalm 34:18

Feeling unseen erodes self-worth and drives a wedge between partners. Seeking support is not a weakness but a step toward healing. When you feel unnoticed, hold onto the truth that your feelings matter. Even when you think they don’t.

Haiku

Eyes that never see
Words that vanish in the air
God is there for you.

Reflective Questions

-When was the last time you felt unseen in a relationship? How did it affect you?

-What steps can you take to feel more valued and heard?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #1

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Weight of The Overwhelm

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill, the main character, is having an internal dialogue with herself about her husband, Derek…

“With the teacher conference conversation still fresh in my mind, I felt at a crossroads. I saw a pattern. Derek did not. My good kids were morphing into out-of-control kids. As a mother, I had to fix this problem….So, I decided to call Amelia and finally take her up on her offer for a visit.” – Jill Mandela

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt like you were at the end of your rope and had to do something fast?

When we get overwhelmed, it feels like the walls are closing in. And there is nowhere to escape. In other words, it is that crushing point when everything feels urgent.

The people we love hurt.
Responsibilities pile up.
And there is pressure to “fix it.”

But sometimes, feeling overwhelmed can be a signal. It tells us that something needs to change.

Jill realizes she needs distance.

Not to escape – but to find clarity.

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” -Luke 5:16

In this passage, we read that Jesus withdrew to quiet places to pray. He needed space to breathe. A place to pause and regroup. Clarity doesn’t always come through effort. Sometimes, it arrives in stillness and prayer.

In several key moments in the book, Jill reads scripture and then seems to receive a divine message. All leading her to greater insights and a softer heart.

Haiku

In the tangled noise
Clarity waits, whispering—
Step back, take a pause

Reflective Questions

When life feels too full, where do you go for clarity?

What’s one area in your life where stepping back could help you see more clearly?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Introduction

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

Introduction

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

It’s a perfect time to pause and reflect.

In the next few days, I invite you to join me in a series of reflections drawn from the novel Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa.

Whether you’ve read Wine & Faith or not, these blog posts are designed to stand on their own. Wine & Faith isn’t for everyone. Yet, in the next few weeks, we’ll explore a few themes that most people encounter at some point.

This book isn’t about mental health in the clinical sense, but it speaks to the emotional burdens we carry. It is the perfect book to use as a backdrop for Mental Health awareness.

A Little About the Book

Wine & Faith touches the heart. It shows patterns that repeat across generations, feelings of loneliness, unmet emotional needs, and a strong wish to be seen and heard. It weaves themes of faith and personal transformation with the rawness of human experience.

In Wine & Faith, we follow Jill, a woman trying to make sense of the growing chaos in her life. The walls seem to be caving in, and she is facing a crisis of faith. Her husband, Derek, carries his own inherited, unhealthy patterns.

Wine & Faith explores how brokenness can slowly lead to healing.

In the next few posts, I’ll share:

~A brief excerpt from the book
~A faith-grounded reflection on a hidden stressor
~A haiku to uplift your spirit
~A journal prompt to guide your thoughts

Let’s navigate through Jill’s journey together.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please comment and “like” this post if you feel so led.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaisleyfrog #LifeJourney

Cranberry Lemonade: Faith & Transformation

Introduction

Life often hands us challenges—those sour, difficult moments that can leave us bitter or discouraged. But just as we can transform tart lemons into refreshing lemonade, faith has the power to transform our lives in profound ways. Through faith, we become new creations, shedding the past and embracing a future full of hope, reconciliation, and renewal.

In this three-part series, Cranberry Lemonade, we’ll explore how faith can lead to transformation, reconciliation, and new beginnings. We will discuss how faith can lead to personal transformation, turning us into new creations with the courage to move beyond our past. Then, explore the natural outcome of this transformation—seeking reconciliation in our relationships and finding peace with others and ourselves. We will complete this series by considering how divine intervention and reconciliation lead to new beginnings, not just in our spiritual lives but also in our connections with family and community.

A New Creation in Faith

“…Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” – 2 Corinthians 5:16-19

Faith is a trust or belief in something, whether it’s nature, the Universe, or Mother/Father God. This belief is deeply personal and shapes us into who we are. Some may adapt to fit their circumstances like chameleons, while others stand firm on their principles. But when faith takes root in our hearts, we undergo a transformation—a rebirth into a new creation. This change can come through various actions, whether connecting with nature, attending church, or exploring biblical prophecy.

The Lemonade Analogy

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It encourages us to stay optimistic, even when life presents challenges. With their sourness, lemons symbolize life’s difficulties, while sweet and refreshing lemonade represents the positive outcomes we can create.

But what if we take this a step further? Imagine adding cranberry juice and stevia to plain lemonade. This new combination is something wonderfully different, just as we can be transformed when we embrace reconciliation.

If your life were a glass of lemonade, what ‘cranberry juice’ (new element) would you add to make it even more refreshing?

It could be forgiveness, understanding, or a new perspective. Consider what you can add to your life to make it more refreshing and transformative.

Transformation Through Faith

When we accept faith and become a new creation, we experience a profound sense of freedom. The past no longer holds us back, and we are empowered to move forward with courage and strength. This transformation naturally leads us to consider our relationships—especially those needing mending.

Can you recall a time when you experienced a significant transformation?
How did faith play a role in that change?
What old habits or mindsets have you let go of since embracing your faith?

Next time, we’ll look at the power and peace of reconciliation as a symbol of newness in this journey of life.

#Faith #Transformation #SpiritualJourney #Reconciliation #Relationships #NewCreation #Reflections

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(This is my “call to action” I’m supposed to include in every post and often forget.
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Generational Curses: Breaking the Chains in Our Families

Have you ever felt cursed?

Or that your family heaped baggage onto you?

Intergenerational curses have a profound impact on the family. These cycles, often perpetuated unintentionally, can manifest in various forms. This can include domestic violence – a cycle rooted in power and control. Or addiction. Or incarceration. Or alcoholism. Or mental illness. Or a host of other issues like depression, anger, or anxiety.

A Blessing or a Curse?

What type of family do you have?

Did you grow up feeling loved, wanted, and cared for?

Or did you grow up feeling like a burden? Like your parents were going through the motions but didn’t want you around?

Today, we want to break the chains. We want to embrace love, empathy, and resilience. By understanding and addressing the roots of these challenges, we pave a path to healing. And healing leads to transformation. Which ensures that our legacy is one of strength and compassion. Let’s free ourselves from the shadows of the past.

1 in 4 people are estranged from a family member.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men have experienced domestic violence.
40-50% of marriages end in divorce.
Psychologytoday dot com
-National Center for Health Research
-American Psychological Association

There is no denying that the family unit has disintegrated over the past several decades. This piece is a call to:

Educate.
Create awareness.
Take action.

We must confront the intergenerational curses affecting our families head-on. No sidestepping this issue anymore. Because our parents’ choices continue to scar us and future generations. We’ve inherited patterns of abandonment. Lack of belonging. Pain, anxiety, and dysfunction. Including the cycle of sexual, emotional, physical, or financial abuse. These issues must be addressed with honesty and with an open heart.

We must acknowledge that our ancestors were flawed. Which contributed to our parents’ and our own imperfections.

The Inherited Legacy

Our families are like ancient trees with roots deep in tradition. We inherit not only physical traits but also emotional legacies. Perhaps your great-grandfather struggled with addiction. Or your grandmother’s unfulfilled dreams haunted her. These experiences shape how we perceive the world and interact with others. Thus, our childhood experiences have affected every single one of our relationships. Past, present, and future. Unless we break the cycle.

Breaking the Cycle

Recognizing generational curses is the first step to breaking free. It’s not about blame; it’s about understanding. By shedding light on these patterns, we empower ourselves to make different choices.

Actions: Choose forgiveness and open communication. Seek financial literacy and create a new path to end the plague of economic struggles. Read and educate yourself on the cycle of power and control. Learn how behaviors can affirm or minimalize.

Understanding the cycle of domestic violence can stop it in its tracks. Power and control perpetuate abuse across generations. Recognizing this cycle enables us to intervene, break the chain, and offer support. Ask, “Who abused your abuser?” Realizing that your abuser was also most likely abused fosters compassion and understanding.

Hope and Healing

Let’s rise above the issues that threaten the fabric of the family. One step at a time.

American Family Day is on the first Sunday in August. It invites us to rewrite our family narratives.

Actions: Start by replacing curses with blessings. Reach out to an estranged relative, or a relative that harmed you. Listen without judgment, and offer compassion. Seek therapy or counseling if needed.

Healing isn’t linear; it’s a journey of small victories and setbacks. But with each step forward, we honor ourselves and our ancestors. By creating a brighter future.

As we celebrate family today, let’s break the chains of generational curses. Let love, empathy, and resilience be our legacy. One that transcends time and transforms lives.

#AmericanFamilyDay #Family #Compassion #Forgiveness #Listen #Therapy #Relationships #Divorce #PowerandControl #Estrangement

Valentine, Oh Valentine – Part 4

The Sacredness of the Strawberry

The Goddess of Love

Vibrantly red in color with the sweetness of sugar, strawberries have been around for centuries. Ancient Romans believed the fruit to be a symbol of Venus, the goddess of love. This led to rituals associating strawberries with love and fertility.

The Heart Chakra

A sacred fruit to some, symbolizes the heart, as in the heart chakra, the energy center of love and compassion. It represents purity, abundance, and the sweetness of life. Indulging in strawberries can be a mindful practice that invites us to savor each bite as we thank God for the blessings in our lives.

Sensuality

*Image Credit: gypsygirlgourmet.blogspot.com*

Chocolate-dipped strawberries add a hint of passion and sensuality to its characteristics. Often thought of as an aphrodisiac, chocolate stimulates the release of endorphins and “feel good” hormones, which can tingle the senses. This Valentine’s treat symbolizes desire and indulgence and is a thoughtful gift for a special person in your life.

Eating together is considered a sacred act in tantric and spiritual traditions. It symbolizes a union. A sharing of nourishment at a physical and spiritual level. Thus, eating strawberries with a loved one can deepen emotional connection.

Fresh and Sassy

Whether strawberries are picked in a garden or bought from the grocery store, they are fresh and sassy. They are versatile, too! They can adorn a beautiful platter of cheese and crackers by slicing them thinly, fanning them, and keeping the stem intact. Dipping them in chocolate and poking them on sticks can resemble a vase of flowers. Dicing them and placing them in a glass bowl, whisper, “Use me as a topping.” For salads, for ice creams, for whatever you can dream.

The next time you reach for a strawberry, pause. Take it in. Allow yourself to fully experience the lusciousness this fruit provides.

The color.

The taste.

The love.

Share God’s Love

May the next strawberry you eat connect your soul profoundly and meaningfully to God, to love, and to others. Go and savor the heart-shaped fruit and experience the simple beauty of nature.

Happy Valentine’s Week!