Tag: #MentalHealth

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #4

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Stress of Walking on Eggshells

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

It’s the day before Jill’s trip to Napa. Her husband, Derek, enters the bedroom.

Derek: “Jill, what in the world are you doing?” Derek’s tone exuded disbelief.
Jill: “I’m packing,” I said calmly.
Derek: “…Stop packing!… You’re not going anywhere. Who do you think you are?…”
Jill: … “You told me to go to Amelia’s…You and Dr. Kate agreed…”
Derek: “I didn’t mean that literally. Are you stupid, Jill?”
Jill: “No… Are you saying I shouldn’t believe anything you say?…”
Derek: “…. Go! Get out of here! Good riddance.”

He stormed out of the bedroom in a huff.

Faith Reflection

Have you ever had the feeling of being one misstep away from a blow-up? Or a sense that your words are twisted despite your calm tone and kind intentions?

When we feel this psychological wear and tear, it is exhausting. Over time, the body stays on high alert. Trapped in a never-ending loop of fight-or-flight. Eventually, emotions become harder and harder to regulate.

You begin to second-guess yourself. Then, you start to wonder if you’re the crazy one.

But sometimes, this feeling of walking on eggshells is a signal. It tells us that something needs to change.

In Wine & Faith, Jill isn’t just packing a suitcase. She’s on a quest to unpack years of silent suffering, invalidation, and anxiety.

She is stepping into a place of self-preservation. A sanctuary where she can confront the reality of her life.

To reflect.
To unravel the complexities.
To seek clarity amid the chaos.
To reclaim her identity.

In this pivotal scene, Jill clings to the hope of transformation.

Jill stands up and draws a line in the sand. She wants the walking on eggshells to stop. But Derek sees this moment as a betrayal. A boundary crossed.

God sees Jill’s line. And He honors it.

Even when others twist your words or belittle your truth, God never will.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

God knows what was said, what was done, and how it made you feel. He is our safe place.

Haiku

Words dig deep within
Crackling eggs beneath my feet
Divine presence awaits

Reflective Questions

Have you ever felt like you had to watch every word or action to avoid someone’s anger? How did it affect your sense of peace, trust, or identity?

What boundary do you need to place (or reinforce) to reclaim peace in your inner sanctuary?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #WalkingOnEggshells #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #3

The Weight of Emotional Isolation

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

This dialogue takes place after Jill and Derek attend a parenting workshop.

Jill: “Derek, what did you think of the workshop?”

Derek: “Well, you know, it is all psychobabble. Goals. Talking together. What is the point? Our kids are fine…”

He doesn’t get it, does he? Can’t he see that he is too authoritarian? It was his way or the highway, which left me feeling like chopped liver.

Faith Reflection

Have you ever been surrounded by people and still feel alone?

Emotional isolation is feeling disconnected despite being physically present. It is a heavy burden. Relationships thrive on mutual understanding and validation.

When you try to share your thoughts, and they’re met with dismissal, it can feel like your voice is lost. Like you don’t matter. This lack of connection breeds loneliness and mistrust. It’s like the person you want to count on and have your back – has checked out.

In Jill’s story, she longs for a moment of mutual understanding but is met with a wall of indifference instead.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. – Psalm 55:22

This verse reminds us that God sees our pain. Even when it is hidden from others.

When you feel isolated, turn to the One that is always there.
God!

God knows your heart and hears your cries. Go ahead. Bear your soul. Let God lift the burden from you.

Haiku

Spoken words dissolve
Into a sea of loneliness
Where God whispers love.

Reflective Questions

When was the last time you felt emotionally isolated? How did you cope?

What steps can you take to make your voice heard?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #2

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Stress of Feeling Invisible

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill is confiding in her friend Amelia about feeling invisible in her marriage.

Amelia: “Do you feel invisible with Derek?”

Jill: “Incredibly so. I’ll tell you a quick story. My friend Carla and I rearranged the living room one afternoon, having a great time mixing things up. When we got back from the store, Derek had moved everything back without saying a word. When I asked about it, he snapped, ‘I will do what I want. You are not the boss of me!’ I felt dismissed, like my preferences didn’t matter.”

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt invisible to someone you love?

It’s not a great feeling. Is it?

It’s a unique kind of loneliness. You are physically present yet emotionally disregarded or ignored. This type of feeling creates distance. Not only that, it attacks your self-worth, and you begin questioning.

Yourself.
Others.
And God.

In relationships, it’s natural to want to be noticed.

To be acknowledged.
To be affirmed.
These are fundamental building blocks of a relationship.

When others brush aside our efforts or desires, it’s easy to question our value. Jill’s story reflects the tension between longing to connect and being met with indifference.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted – Psalm 34:18

Feeling unseen erodes self-worth and drives a wedge between partners. Seeking support is not a weakness but a step toward healing. When you feel unnoticed, hold onto the truth that your feelings matter. Even when you think they don’t.

Haiku

Eyes that never see
Words that vanish in the air
God is there for you.

Reflective Questions

-When was the last time you felt unseen in a relationship? How did it affect you?

-What steps can you take to feel more valued and heard?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #1

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Weight of The Overwhelm

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill, the main character, is having an internal dialogue with herself about her husband, Derek…

“With the teacher conference conversation still fresh in my mind, I felt at a crossroads. I saw a pattern. Derek did not. My good kids were morphing into out-of-control kids. As a mother, I had to fix this problem….So, I decided to call Amelia and finally take her up on her offer for a visit.” – Jill Mandela

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt like you were at the end of your rope and had to do something fast?

When we get overwhelmed, it feels like the walls are closing in. And there is nowhere to escape. In other words, it is that crushing point when everything feels urgent.

The people we love hurt.
Responsibilities pile up.
And there is pressure to “fix it.”

But sometimes, feeling overwhelmed can be a signal. It tells us that something needs to change.

Jill realizes she needs distance.

Not to escape – but to find clarity.

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” -Luke 5:16

In this passage, we read that Jesus withdrew to quiet places to pray. He needed space to breathe. A place to pause and regroup. Clarity doesn’t always come through effort. Sometimes, it arrives in stillness and prayer.

In several key moments in the book, Jill reads scripture and then seems to receive a divine message. All leading her to greater insights and a softer heart.

Haiku

In the tangled noise
Clarity waits, whispering—
Step back, take a pause

Reflective Questions

When life feels too full, where do you go for clarity?

What’s one area in your life where stepping back could help you see more clearly?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Introduction

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

Introduction

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

It’s a perfect time to pause and reflect.

In the next few days, I invite you to join me in a series of reflections drawn from the novel Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa.

Whether you’ve read Wine & Faith or not, these blog posts are designed to stand on their own. Wine & Faith isn’t for everyone. Yet, in the next few weeks, we’ll explore a few themes that most people encounter at some point.

This book isn’t about mental health in the clinical sense, but it speaks to the emotional burdens we carry. It is the perfect book to use as a backdrop for Mental Health awareness.

A Little About the Book

Wine & Faith touches the heart. It shows patterns that repeat across generations, feelings of loneliness, unmet emotional needs, and a strong wish to be seen and heard. It weaves themes of faith and personal transformation with the rawness of human experience.

In Wine & Faith, we follow Jill, a woman trying to make sense of the growing chaos in her life. The walls seem to be caving in, and she is facing a crisis of faith. Her husband, Derek, carries his own inherited, unhealthy patterns.

Wine & Faith explores how brokenness can slowly lead to healing.

In the next few posts, I’ll share:

~A brief excerpt from the book
~A faith-grounded reflection on a hidden stressor
~A haiku to uplift your spirit
~A journal prompt to guide your thoughts

Let’s navigate through Jill’s journey together.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please comment and “like” this post if you feel so led.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaisleyfrog #LifeJourney

Summer: Time for Sabbath

On the Sabbath- we are reminded that we are not human doings, but human beings.

Rob Bell

Most people would agree that rest and rejuvenation are necessary for self-care. We need to be our best so we can take care of ourselves and others. This makes sense. Do you agree?

Then, we can stretch this out to theorize that spending time in nature allows us to nourish our souls so we can rest in creation. Today, we continue the theme of rest, specifically, Sabbath rest.

Rest on the Seventh Day

In the Story of Creation, we learn that God created the heavens, the earth, and everything in between. God created one day each week solely to rest. God made a point of distinguishing one day from all the others. This speaks volumes. God provided the seventh day to rest. To give us permission to take a break from everyday life. In other words, to stop and smell the roses.

Photo Credit: Arkansas Rose by Ruth Walton, iPhone

Action: Set aside one day a week to unplug from work and technology.

Through rest, we can sense God’s love and connection. A mind, body, and soul connection.

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. – Exodus 20:8-11

Keep the Sabbath Holy

In this scripture, God commands us to keep the Sabbath day holy. What does holy mean? On www.myjewishlearning.com, “Holiness is imparted and maintained through ritual, prayer, formal declaration, and the avoidance of specific “abominations.”” In Britt Mooney’s What Does it Really Mean to be Holy, on chrisitanity.com, “Holy refers to something or someone set apart or consecrated for a specific purpose.”

Holy appears throughout the Bible to describe God’s nature, attributes, actions, and expectations of us.

If we believe that God is holy and is set apart from worldly things, we accept that God is the source of truth and love. These earthly things are temporary. They get in the way of our relationship to nature and to God. The solitude of nature heals us from the brokenness of ourselves and the world.

Sabbath, What is the Big Deal?

This sacred time holds profound historical and spiritual significance, particularly, yet not limited, to Judaism. In Judaism, it is a sign of the covenant between God and the Jewish people. It symbolizes freedom and divine protection to the Israelites by God.

Jewish people all over the world observe the Sabbath. It begins at sundown on Fridays with lighting candles, reciting blessings, and sharing a meal. It concludes at sundown the following evening. This practice of the Sabbath has unified the Jewish people into who they are today.

Reflect on the Present

The Sabbath allows us to rest, reflect, and renew—a sort of balance to all the craziness we experience otherwise. Observing that one day of the week is different from the rest helps us honor time itself. The mundane is set aside for the sacred.

How do you currently spend your weekends?
What activities help you feel rested and renewed?
How can you create a Sabbath-like rest in your weekly routine?

Sabbath also fosters a sense of community and family bonding. In Kendra Cherry, MSEd’s recent article How to Increase Your Sense of Belonging in VeryWell, she writes, “Our need to belong is what drives us to seek out stable, long-lasting relationships with other people.”

Action: Set aside time each week to spend with family. Create a better sense of belonging by calling and texting family on a regular basis.

The Sabbath’s blend of historical roots and spiritual depth makes it a cornerstone of Jewish life. It offers a weekly reminder of faith, freedom, and community. Honoring the Sabbath connects you to God, self, family, and community. In Sabbath rest, we can unplug technology and focus on what truly matters. What type of Sabbath rest are you seeking?

#Summer #SpiritualRest #Rest #Renew #Vacation #Self-Care #Reflection #Relationships #MentalHealth #Nature #Creation #Sabbath

Summer: Time to Rest in Creation

 I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.

George Washington Carver

Our last post discussed the imperative need to rest and recharge. Today, we will explore the concept of finding rest in nature.

Camping as a Kid

When I was a kid, my family went camping every summer. It was something my dad looked forward to each year. Me, not so much. But, when you are a kid, you learn to grin and bear it.

My dad worked in an environment where noise prevented him from hearing others speak. The air was filled with dust, metal shavings, and oil substances. Gears churned within the walls, and motors whistled, so it was no wonder he wanted to escape to the woods.It was his happy place.

Image Source: publicdomainpictures dot net

As much as I didn’t like camping, I remember nature’s sounds: the potatoes wrapped in foil crackling in the fire, the crickets chirping, and the owls hooting at night. And then the stars. I remember looking up at the vast sky and seeing millions of stars I had never seen before—or perhaps didn’t choose to stop and appreciate at home. One thing I learned while camping was the closeness I felt to God. I saw God everywhere.

Reflect on Your Past

To better understand your relationship with nature, consider the following:

Did your childhood teach you how to connect with nature?
Were you able to explore the outdoors on your own or in groups?
How did your parents feel about nature?

Action: Spend a few minutes reflecting on your past experiences with nature. Write down one memorable experience and how it made you feel. Use this reflection to connect with your current relationship with the outdoors.

The Gift of Creation

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Genesis 2:2-3

Nature reflects God’s beauty and provides a sanctuary for rest. Signs of nature are everywhere, from the tiny tadpoles near a stream to the crabs crawling on a beach. If you choose to notice.

Action: Promise yourself to spend time outdoors. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike, or simply sitting on your patio, go be in nature. Quiet yourself as you hear the birds and experience the nature around you. Start with short, mindful moments of rest. Rest for your mental and physical well-being. Gradually increase your time spent outdoors.

Connecting with nature opens up the opportunity to connect with Spirit, which allows you to communicate with the Creator of all nature. In God, rest and rejuvenation are found. Like the woman at the well in the Gospel of John 4:10, God offers each one of us living water. It is this water that brings us eternal rest.

#Summer #SpiritualRest #Rest #Renew #Vacation #Self-Care #Reflection #Relationships #MentalHealth #Nature #Creation

Summer: Time to Rest & Recharge

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

Summer is the typical time people take vacation. It is a period designed explicitly for rest and relaxation. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus invites the weary and burdened to find rest in Him. By prioritizing self-care, we become refreshed, allowing us to seek God’s peace and restoration.

The daily grind takes a toll on us. The barrage of emails, text messages, and input from outside sources makes us feel like a worn-out sponge. Soaking up the information and then regurgitating it at that moment or another time. Sooner or later, you will dry out and fall apart.

Reflect on Your Past

To better understand your current state of mental health, consider the following:

Did your childhood teach you good self-care?
Were you able to speak your mind without retribution?
How did your parents take care of themselves?

These questions will reveal your history and your story.

In your story, you can go back and rewrite it. Rewrite the story so you won’t feel guilty when you are not working. Take time to kick up your feet and just relax. Enjoy your family for who they are because you want to, not as an obligation.

Action: Spend 5 minutes thinking about your childhood. Answer one question by writing or typing it out. Build on this each day until you feel you have answered each one adequately.

Verbalize Your Needs

Learning to verbalize your wants and needs is vital for good mental health. It does take practice. So, think about starting this summer! But first, you will need to list what these are. Then, you can reflect upon them. It is essential for good mental health. You can start by asking yourself:

Do I need more alone time or social time?
What activities do I like to do alone? What do I want to do with other people?
What resources do I need to live a balanced life?

Action: Spend another 5 minutes thinking about your childhood. Write down whether you needed more alone time or social time and list one example to support your answer. Then spend another 5 minutes thinking about the present. Build on this each day until you feel you have answered each one adequately.

Consider Others

When we rest and refresh, we strengthen our relationships with others. Empathy allows us to connect deeply, promoting a sense of community. By understanding and valuing the perspectives of others, we can offer support and kindness in meaningful ways. This balance between self-care and caring for others enriches our lives and helps create a kinder, gentler world.

Imagine the ripple effect: when you take time to care for yourself, you are better equipped to care for those around you. Renewed energy and a positive outlook can inspire others.

Action: Think of one person you can reach out to this week and offer a kind word or run an errand.

The next time you question whether you need to work late, ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?” That should answer your question.

Image Source: Aspengroup dot com

#Summer #SpiritualRest #Rest #Renew #Vacation #Self-Care #Reflection #Relationships #MentalHealth

The Legacy of a Good Father

Artist Credit: Dad and Me by Vickie Wade

Father’s Day

is a time to honor and celebrate the fathers in our lives. While expectations of fathers may have changed over the years, the core values of what makes a good father (or step-father) are timeless.

A good father is more than just a provider; he is a nurturer, a guide, and a pillar of support for his partner, children, and community.

Core Values of a Good Father

Attachment

Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby, emphasizes the importance of forming a secure bond between a child and their caregiver. A good father fosters this bond through consistent presence and emotional availability. He helps his children develop a sense of security and trust by providing comfort and support. It starts with taking turns with changing diapers, late-night feedings, and going to bed routines. This secure attachment lays the foundation for healthy emotional development and relationships throughout the child’s life.

Attunement

Attunement refers to a parent’s ability to recognize, understand, and respond appropriately to their child’s emotional states. A good father is attuned to his children’s spoken and unspoken needs. He listens actively, observes carefully, and provides support to help them navigate their feelings. A good father is empathetic and helps his children feel understood and valued, fostering their emotional intelligence and resilience.

Respect

Respect is fundamental to any healthy relationship, and the father-child relationship is no exception. A good father respects his children’s individuality and encourages their autonomy. He acknowledges their unique personalities, interests, and perspectives and supports their independence. By showing respect, he teaches his children to value themselves and others, promoting a healthy sense of self-worth and mutual respect in their interactions.

Personal Growth

A good father is not only a teacher but also a learner. He models personal growth by adapting to his family’s changing needs. Whether deepening emotional intimacy with his spouse, enhancing parenting skills, or working on personal challenges, his commitment to growth inspires his children to pursue their own development paths. This lifelong learning mindset fosters a culture of continuous improvement and resilience within the family.

Prioritizing Children’s Needs

One of the defining qualities of a good father is his ability to prioritize his children’s needs. This does not mean neglecting his own well-being but instead finding a balance where the children’s physical, emotional, and psychological needs are prioritized. A good father understands the importance of providing a safe and nurturing environment, even if it requires personal sacrifices. He makes sure they have the resources and support they need to thrive.

Mental Health

A good father values good mental health. He recognizes the importance of emotional well-being and openly discusses such things. By addressing issues such as respect, value, self-esteem, stress, anxiety, and depression, he helps normalize the conversation. Providing space for emotional expression and seeking professional help promotes a healthy, balanced life.

Respect for the Mother of His Children

A good father shows respect for the mother of his children. He recognizes that a harmonious and respectful relationship sets a positive example for their children. Whether partners or co-parents, mutual respect and cooperation are crucial for creating a stable and loving environment. By treating the mother of his children with kindness, consideration, and respect, he demonstrates the importance of healthy relationships and teamwork. This respect benefits the children by providing a model of positive interaction that strengthens the overall family unit.

The Legacy of a Good Father

Father’s Day is an opportunity to reflect on and appreciate the profound impact that good fathers have on their children’s lives. Good fathers lay a solid foundation. As we celebrate this special day, let us honor the fathers who embody these qualities and strive to be the best role models they can be. Their dedication and love create a lasting legacy for generations to come.

Happy Father’s Day

#Father’sDay #Attachment #Attunement #Respect #Mental Health #RoleModel

Lessons Learned from Princess Diana – Lesson #6


Lesson #6: Embrace Vulnerability

Image Source: hotcore dot info/babki/
lady-diana-cooper-quotes dot htm

Princess Diana used her public image and royal status to bring humility and honesty to the field of mental health. The life and legacy of Princess Diana embraced the vulnerability of others and, more poignantly herself. In her openness to her personal challenges, she may have unwittingly encouraged us all to confront our demons and seek professional help.

Princess Diana openly spoke about her battles with depression, self-doubt, and postpartum depression. By sharing her experiences, she humanized mental health issues and sparked conversations that were often considered taboo. This applied to her marriage woes as well. Diana had a knack for deeply relating to the public in many ways. After her troubled marriage became public knowledge, she openly discussed her challenges, allowing others struggling to feel seen and heard. She was a trailblazer.

As a teenager and young woman, I dreamed of creating a nurturing and safe space for my children. I imagined a warm and fuzzy place where heart-to-heart talks would be encouraged. I pictured two parents on the same page of the “Parenting Book.” But it didn’t end up that way as my children were growing up. The parents who I grew up with, that made me feel safe and loved and taught me how to be expressive by holding hands and kissing, were not the parents my children had. And yes, this still haunts me every now and again.

Reflecting on my journey of vulnerability as a parent, “I need to put on the oxygen mask first,” thinking comes to mind. I saw the benefit of counseling and sought it several times during and after my first marriage and a few times before my second marriage. I realized that two-way communication was the secret sauce in healthy relationships.

Good mental health requires people to be open and honest with themselves, their partners, and their children. Counseling requires hard introspective work, and many are just not ready to make that commitment. Often more time is needed to be ready for counseling. Or a fixed mindset prevents them from seeing the benefits of therapy or any help or assistance in general. It takes courage to acknowledge and express our true selves. Princess Diana showed the world that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but of strength that fosters connection, empathy, and understanding. All of which necessitate some form of communication.

A smile.
A warm touch.
A glance.
A laugh.
A text.
An email.
A phone call.

I acknowledge moments of self-doubt, uncertainty, and the poor navigating of the often-hard road that parenting requires. Yet, I did something right because my children turned out to be okay. Both graduated from top-notch universities. Both are independent. Both are genuinely kind people if you dig deep enough. I’m sure we could agree that healthy relationships are vital in today’s ever-changing world. Even tricky words, we occasionally need to hear, are worth the effort.