Today, we will examine the questions we might ask ourselves when tragedy attacks.
In the face of such pain, people find themselves grappling with profound questions such as:
“Where was God?” and “Why did this have to happen?”
Every day, lives and dreams disappear in the twinkling of an eye. In Part 1, we saw how they disappeared the moment the O-rings failed following the launch of the Challenger space shuttle.
Life is truly short.
We turn now to the Old Testament.
The Story of Cain and Abel
Two brothers. One jealous. One not. One life. One death.
In the fourth chapter of Genesis, the first book of the Bible, we learn of the tragic tale of Adam and Eve’s family. They have two sons, Cain and Abel. Then, one day, in a fit of jealousy, Cain kills his brother Abel.
Let’s read a few verses.
In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Genesis 4:3-5
“Where was God?” and “Why did this have to happen?”
We really don’t know. Cain may have felt God’s absence, which may have fueled the fire. Yet, there is no doubt that Cain was angry. But we don’t know how furious he was or what type of anger management issues he may have had.
Which brings us more questions than answers.
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.”
Genesis 4:9-10
After God asks Cain what he has done, Cain lies. God banishes Cain from his presence and makes him a wanderer. And that is the end of the story.
So, these questions remain:
Where was God when Cain killed Abel? Why did God let this happen? Where is the sacredness in this story?
Like in all tragedy, God is there. Right? I tend to think, yes. Yet, many people may feel that God is no where to be found during difficult times. This theme will be woven throughout this series. In this Story of Cain and Abel, God was in the midst. Smack in the middle! As we see in the dialogue between God and Cain.
Another compelling question to consider, not listed above, in the Cain and Abel story is: “What made one offering more acceptable to God than the other?” This question might get at the heart of the matter, “Why did God let this happen?” Perhaps God’s favoritism toward Abel was the trigger for his murder.
Favoritism
If you ask siblings if their parents had a favorite, I’m pretty sure most of the time, a sibling would be able to “name” the favorite. It could be the oldest, the youngest, or the one who was the most “obedient” child. But let’s flip this a bit. How would you feel if you weren’t the favorite? Pause and think about it.
Before we leave the hot topic of “favorites,” consider this: How would you feel if God favored someone over you? This situation seems to take it up a notch, doesn’t it? And, in a roundabout way, it brings us back to one of the initial questions.
A Tricky Question
“Why did God let this happen?” A tricky question, for sure. Why does God let any tragedy happen? Cain could have been pissed off at God. He didn’t have to kill his brother, did he? It’s complicated. Clearly, we don’t have all the facts.
In the next few posts, we will continue to search for the sacredness that is either in or emerges from tragedy. Hang in there, dear reader, Part 3 will shed more light. I promise.
Image Credit: Abstract Sunrise Space Wallpaper 1920×1080 (Pixelstalk dot net)
In the next few posts, we will explore the concept of sacredness and how it can be found in the very essence of tragedy. In accidents, calamities, or vicious crimes, we, as people made in the image of God, have the free will to respond in any way we wish. As children of God, however, there is hope in the trials set before us.
“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Jesus, The Gospel According to John, 16:33
The Challenger
Most of us are familiar with the tragedy of The Challenger. Thousands watched it launch in person that day. And millions more watched it in real-time or on the news after the fact. Seventy-three seconds after lift-off, plumes of smoke spiraled downward from the sky.
It was a chilly day in January 1986 in Cape Canaveral, FL. It was so cold that frost covered the aircraft. One of the reasons that the space shuttles launch in Florida and Texas is their warm weather patterns. But in January 1986, Florida had an unusual cold snap. The weather had broken all previous records for low temperatures.
One might ask, why would temperature be so important? Well, it had to do with the 0-rings. Or, more generally, its nuts and bolts. The 0-rings had a specific temperature range for optimal success. Cold temperatures would cause the metal to respond more slowly. Or fail, as it did for The Challenger.
Lives and Dreams
Each of the seven crew members lost their life that day. It was a tremendous loss.
Let’s take a moment of silence to honor these brave souls.
Michael J. Smith, Francis R. “Dick” Scobee, Ronald E. McNair, Ellison S. Onizuka, S. Christa McAuliffe, Gregory B. Jarvis, Judith A. Resnik
Mike, Dick, Ron, Ellison, Christa, Greg, and Judy were mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends. And now they are gone.
Not one person would argue that they left this earth too soon, leaving their loved ones to grieve this unimaginable loss. Each of these individuals was living their dream—the dream of space travel.
Lives and dreams forever lost.
Have you lost special people in your life? Or dreams that can no longer be realized?
Next time, we will explore the questions of “Where was God?” and “Why did this have to happen?” “This” can be applied to many situations and circumstances. Stay with me, and you’ll see how God can transform tragedies into hope.
Australia is one of the most successful multicultural countries in the world. Each year, it celebrates its diversity by acknowledging the integration of migrants into its community. It supports the value of unity.
Belonging
What I love about this event is that it draws attention to how important the sense of belonging is to all of us. How do we as a society foster belonging? Let’s start with empathy and compassion. Then, we can throw in honor and respect for good measure. We must work on ourselves first to move forward as individuals, families, communities, and nations. Mindfulness, reading self-help resources, and engaging with others can help us become comfortable in our skin. Build up tolerance. Learn the tools to communicate effectively. Practice acceptance. Once you have done the introspective work, lean into your strengths and identify your weak spots. Know what they are. So you can work on becoming a safe person. A person who receives others without judgment.
Building Bridges
Building a sense of belonging requires effort and, thus, action. Belonging doesn’t just happen. Yet, you can make it happen by being the honey bears want. Draw people toward yourself, don’t push them away. Focus on others and practice active listening. Try new things. Do something different. Get out of your comfort zone.
Concentrate on what you have in common with others. Not what you might differ on. Build bridges with an attitude of acceptance. Validate yourself and validate others.
Respect
You, my friend, are a child of the Almighty God. Yes, you are. Shouldn’t you respect yourself and others if God created and respects you? We can choose to be optimistic and forgiving or miserable and bitter. Remember, if you want to have a sense of belonging, you need to accept others so they feel like they belong. In so doing, we build communities where diversity is valued and differences are embraced.
Many of us are familiar with the 1993 film, “Groundhog Day,” starring the famous comedian Bill Murray. In this flick, he plays a weatherman sent on assignment to Punxsutawney, PA, to cover the annual Groundhog Day event. Does the groundhog see his shadow for six more weeks of winter, or does he not indicate spring will arrive shortly.
Groundhog Day,
“is a tradition observed in the United States and Canada on February 2 of every year starting in the 16th century. It derives from the Pennsylvania Dutch superstition that if a groundhog emerges from its burrow on this day and sees its shadow, it will retreat to its den, and winter will go on for six more weeks; if it does not see its shadow, spring will arrive early.”
Wikipedia
The movie begins with the clock turning 6 a.m. and the alarm playing “I Got You Babe,” a Sonny and Cher certified Gold hit on the Billboard Hot 100. Bill, who plays Phil Connors, wakes in his hotel room, only to repeat this segment many times in the movies. Finally, Phil realizes he is caught up in a time loop, with the same day playing over and over.
In psychological terms, he experiences a personal transformation. Phil’s character matures from an arrogant, self-centered one to a more authentic human being who genuinely cares for others. His pursuit of love offers comic relief to the often awkwardness of dating.
Lessons Learned
Lesson #1: Be Open to Personal Growth
Phil has an incredible opportunity to reflect on his day, reassess, and make changes for the next day. He learns to be kinder and compassionate by listening more and seeing life through other perspectives.
Lesson #2. Embrace the Present
The endless loop Phil finds himself in allows him to live in the moment. He learns to find joy in simple pleasures
Lesson #3. Find Purpose
Phil falls in love with one of his colleagues, and in his pursuit of “winner her over,” he realizes that love gives purpose and fulfillment to his life.
Reflection
This movie provides an opportunity for all of us to pause. To Pause and reflect on how we would live our lives differently if we knew what was coming next. How often do we say to ourselves, “If only I’d known?”
This movie serves as a reminder to live life fully. To be our best selves. Not mediocre selves, but our best!
What does your best look like? And, would your best be the best for someone else?
Living my best self taught me to think more and talk less. I have learned that my words matter. My actions matter. My intentions matter. I want to make this place a better place and impact lives. The lives of friends, family, and strangers. I want us to come together as one. One people. One God. One love.
Lessons Learned from Chilly Willy: Perseverance Be True To Yourself Resourcefulness Adaptability Resilience
In the 1950s, there was a cartoon character named Chilly Willy. Chilly Willy was an adorable penguin who did not like the cold. He wore a red hat and a scarf. Chilly Willy wanted to escape the cold and head south to a warmer climate.
In this one episode, Chilly Willy is very cold. He starts ripping newspapers and throwing them in the fire to stay warm. One of the newspapers shows an ad for a fur warehouse. He finds the warehouse and spends the next few minutes trying to steal one of the furs. Except there is a “Beware of Dog” sign. Each time the penguin steals a fur, the dog chases him. The dog ends up putting all the furs behind a locked door. Then, Chilly Willy finds a razor and cuts the hair off the dog. He somehow manages to sew the hair together for a coat. The show ends with the dog putting the fur coat on his own tail, and then Chilly Willy’s head pops out of the coat on the tail.
In another episode, Chilly Willy is watching television and sees a commercial for an extreme sports competition where there will be plenty of food. Since he is hungry, he sees this sporting event as an opportunity to gain access to lots of food. Chilly Willy tunnels himself through the gate and competes in ice skating, windsurfing, and skiing events. All the while trying to evade the infamous security guard, Smedley, the dog. Chilly Willy goes on to win three gold medals!
Lesson #1 – Perseverance
Despite his small size, Chilly Willy is tenacious. He keeps at it. He has one goal. To stay warm. He takes risks. We learn from Chilly Willy that even the smallest creatures can achieve great things by focusing on new ideas. It takes persistence and determination for a little penguin to find warmth.
Lesson #2 – Be True To Yourself
Chilly Willy doesn’t behave like other penguins who love the cold. He has a charming personality and overcomes obstacles, even in the face of adversity. He often runs from Smedley, the dog who wants to eliminate the “pesky” penguin.
Lesson #3 – Resourcefulness
Chilly Willy showcases resourcefulness by using creative solutions to overcome challenges. He consistently utilizes resources that are readily available to him. Like turning the newspaper into fuel for warmth. Or turning the dog hair into a fur coat.
Lesson #4 – Adaptability
There is no challenge that Chilly Willy won’t try to overcome. Despite being a penguin, he adapts himself to his surroundings. His character emulates the very humanness of us all. He is vulnerable. He shows emotions. He creates humor when facing challenges. Hopefully, there is a little Chilly Willy in us all.
Lesson #5 – Resilience
Chilly Willy outsmarts Smedley, the dog, every time. But it is challenging. Chilly Willy bounces back from all types of circumstances, like the cat who has nine lives. The cute penguin does not let failures deter his spirit. He moves forward and continues his quest for whatever he seeks, like warmth or food.
So, in honor of Penguin Awareness Day, we salute Chilly Willy. This adorable little creature dressed in a tuxedo gave millions of people mindless laughter as he performed his many antics. If you haven’t met Chilly Willy, I encourage you to watch an episode on YouTube.
Chilly Willy Image Credit: Walter Lantz created character
There is no doubt in anyone’s mind about the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy. It’s something experienced by all who are in close contact with a woman “with child.” From the crazy food cravings to the emotional outbursts, there is never a dull moment.
Mary & Son, Jesus Elizabeth & Son, John (The Baptist)
Mary and Elizabeth were first-time mothers-to-be and surely had emotions stirring inside of them. Both were destined to give birth. Both had partners at their side.
At her advanced age, Elizabeth probably laughed, yet felt blessed to be able to conceive and finally bear a child. She looked forward to blending in with the other women in the neighborhood. She would no longer be stared at for being childless. Awe. Astonished. Honored. Blessed. Privileged. Matronly. Relief.
Mary did not laugh, yet most likely felt blessed and privileged to be chosen by God to deliver the baby Jesus. Even being the Holy Mother, she undoubtedly felt the scorn of some in society as an unwed pregnant girl. What shame she must have felt and her family, too. Throw that all in with a mix of hormones running wild, and one can sense the good with the bad. Awe. Astonishment. Honored. Blessed. Anointed. Miraculous. Unbelief. Lowly. Scared. Disappointed. Bewildered. Humbled. Sacred.
Unique Story
Like Elizabeth, I was older when I gave birth to my younger son. It was redemptive to me, a moment filled with joy. It might have been something like the anticipation that Elizabeth felt. Mypregnancy was uncomplicated! It contrasted with my first one, which might have echoed Mary’s apprehension and curiosity. Like Mary’s experience, my husband wasn’t initially thrilled about my first pregnancy, leading to emotional turmoil. My dream of motherhood clashed with the challenges of medical complications, which labeled my pregnancy as high-risk. While overjoyed, I felt conflicted, as perhaps Mary did. I wondered if I had done something terribly wrong.
When reflecting on my pregnancy, it’s not hard for me to imagine that Elizabeth and Mary faced their diverse emotions just as I did. I’m pretty sure the feelings darted all around. The joyous anticipation, the unforeseen challenges, and the conflicting emotions bubbling up inside.
I experienced all kinds of emotions all at the same time. For me, there was no other life experience that came close. It was like being on a rollercoaster, with its ups and downs, having a massage day at the spa while enjoying your favorite ice cream cone while crying – all rolled up into one.
The Miracle of Emotions
Just as God chose Elizabeth and Mary to play pivotal roles in the Nativity Story, God may have chosen a man named Mark to play a significant role in my first pregnancy. Mark was the counselor at the clinic. He was kind and empathetic. He guided my then-husband and me through our whirlwind of emotions and encouraged us to stay strong.
Toward the end of pregnancy, the anticipation. The unknown. The praying. The closeness to God.
Praying for the baby.
Praying for the baby’s health.
Praying for stability.
Praying for a loving husband to be supportive.
Praying for the miracle of birth.
I felt that God was with me every step of the way. And I’m guessing Elizabeth and Mary felt that way too. Our pregnancies and the birth process were nothing short of a miracle. Like Elizabeth and Mary, I had a son. Then, six and a half years later, I gave birth to a second son. The experience of feeling different emotions at the same time was a miracle.
Have you considered asking God about the emotions you feel?
The next blog will explore The Miracle of Jesus’ birth.
To faith-based people, Christmas is the celebration of the birth of their savior, Jesus.
Most of us are familiar with the significant elements of the Christmas Story, or as some might say, the Nativity Story. Like baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the manger. Then came the shepherds and the wise men.
The Bible definitely doesn’t wrap stories up with neat bows. They are often confusing and void of details. Yet, the Bible has withstood through the ages as the most significant piece of literature of all time.
Why?
Because its words pierce the heart and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to each one of us uniquely. And maybe the Bible was written just for you and me!
The Miracle of Motherhood
Before we can appreciate and fully understand the meaning of Jesus’ birth, we need a refresher on noteworthy mothers in the Bible. We begin today’s post with the miracle of motherhood.
In the Bible, several women give birth to baby boys, who become some of the greatest leaders in the Bible. These Old Testament women faced infertility and were initially unable to conceive. Some were even past child-bearing age! Yet, through God’s divine plan, each went on to experience the miracle of birth.
Sarah & Son, Isaac
There is Sarah, the wife of Abraham, who becomes pregnant and gives birth to Isaac (Genesis 21:1).
Rebecca & Twins, Esau & Jacob
Interestingly, next is Rebecca, the wife of Isaac, who gives birth to twins Esau and Jacob (Genesis 25:25-26).
Rachel & Son, Joseph
After Rebecca comes Rachel, Jacob’s wife. Jacob is the man who married Leah by mistake (wearing a veil in the bridal tent) and then has to work seven more years for his Uncle Laban’s approval to marry his true love, Rachel. Rachel becomes the mother of Joseph (Genesis 30:22).
Manoah’s Wife & Son, Samson
Then, there is the unnamed woman who is Manoah’s wife. She conceives and gives birth to Samson.
Hannah & Son, Samuel
Next is Hannah, who cries out to God and finally has Samuel. After weaning, she presents Samuel to Eli, the Priest, who then raises Samuel in the house of God (1 Samuel 1:20).
Each of these women was deeply spiritual. They each cried out and prayed fervently for a child. Some, for decades. Sarah even laughed when God promised Abraham descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky. She waited more than fourteen years for the prophecy to come to fruition.
The Miracle of Surrender
These women who become mothers teach us that God controls even the minute details of our lives. Even though the Bible may be devoid of details, there is nothing in this world that God does not know. There is a plan for you and for me.
How do we ensure we are doing what God wants us to do? For me, the first step is surrender.
We need to let go and let God.
When we give ourselves to God, we open ourselves to new possibilities. New doors to open and go through. You will only know what is on the other side of the door if you open it.
Reflecting on a point of surrender in my life, a pivotal moment stands out – back in 2015. Faced with a failed job search in the tri-state area, I turned to prayer. “God, I surrender and will go where you lead.”
The Miracle of a Dream Come True
I expanded my job search nationwide, leading to a surprising job offer in Arkansas. Little did I know what God had in store for me. My dream of teaching academic courses was fulfilled a few short years later. Only God knew of that dream, and it came true!
How do these biblical stories relate to you and your life’s journey? Has there been a time in your life that you surrendered to God? I’d love to hear about it.
As we close, may this Christmas be a time for you to be open to the possibilities of what might lie ahead.
Achieving a Thanksgiving mindset requires gratitude, introspection, and transformation. We must also learn to intentionally pause so we can recharge and refocus. Once we do that, we can reflect and reset.
“It’s never too late to press the reset button on your life.”
Unknown
Recharge
Recharging involves replenishing our inner resources. It encompasses activities that rejuvenate our spirits—whether it’s through solitary introspection, pursuing hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or immersing ourselves in nature’s tranquility. This process isn’t merely about resting; it’s about actively seeking what revitalizes us, ensuring we’re emotionally, mentally, and spiritually equipped for what lies ahead.
Refocus
Refocusing invites us to reassess our goals, recalibrate our energies, and realign our intentions. It’s about acknowledging the distractions that pull us away from our desired path and consciously steering ourselves back on track. Amidst the chaos of daily life, these moments of realignment act as compass points guiding us toward growth and development.
Our lives are so busy that we must consciously take a break from our busyness. Take a deep breath. Let’s think about where we have been and where we are going
Reflection
Reflection serves as the cornerstone of personal growth. It’s the conscious act of looking back at our experiences, discerning the lessons they offer, and applying these insights to propel us forward. By reflecting on life’s twists and turns, we pave the way for continuous improvement. Identifying our personal blessings and the profound impact our interactions may have on others can serve as a catapult to more empathy, understanding, and a deeper appreciation for the interconnectedness of our lives.
Reset
Artist Credit: Clymenza Hawkins
Thanksgiving can serve as a reset button. It’s about shaking off the old, shedding what no longer fits, and embracing the chance for a fresh start. Picture it as a makeover for your mindset—an opportunity to grow into a newer, better version of yourself.
A reset is that pivotal moment where we let go of what’s holding us back. It’s about taking a hard look at what’s not working and daring to reimagine what could be. It’s that push to let go of old habits, beliefs, or fears that no longer serve us.
Thanksgiving is the perfect time to refocus, recharge, reflect, and reset. As we express gratitude for what we have, we also open ourselves up to the idea of change. It’s like saying thanks for what’s been and getting excited about what’s to come—a chance to start afresh.
A Thanksgiving Mindset – Part 2 focused on a simple message.
Transformation and Introspection.
Image Credit: @ Bohu _ Allure
To recap, we discussed developing gratitude, improving ourselves through self-assessment tools, learning and understanding healthy relationships, and practicing mindfulness.
Let’s continue with Transformation.
This morning, a good friend of mine posted this to her Facebook page:
“If you fail, never give up because fail means ‘FirstAttempt In Learning.’ The end is not the end. In fact, the end means ‘EffortNever Dies.’ If you get no as an answer, no means ‘Next Opportunity.’ Changeyour mindset!”
Author Unknown
Growth Mindset
For transformation to occur, we have to change our mindset.A growth mindset sees challenges as opportunities for learning and development, much like the cycles of planting, nurturing, and harvesting in nature. It stems from the belief that we can do better. We can improve. We can become better people. Why? Because there is no limit on learning. We can improve ourselves by shifting our thinking and reactions and being proactive.
Proactive to more intentional awareness. Thinking before we speak. Choosing our words more carefully. Learning the art of “pause.” Listening more and speaking less. Observing nonverbal communication in dialogue.
If we actively practice healthy communication, we will eventually, transform into something different than we were or even currently are.
Fixed Mindset
Shifting from a growth mindset to a fixed mindset, the fixed mindset perceives the world as black and white. It is, or it isn’t. Growth is stifled, like a dormant seed unwilling to sprout. Those who seem stuck might be fixated on something they can’t get past. It is overwhelming. Whatever the “it” is. One way of becoming “unstuck” is by talking. Talking it out with a trustworthy friend. Or by seeking professional help. We can’t fix a problem that isn’t ours. What we can do is to do something ourselves. Accept the situation and learn from it. What can we do differently next time? What can we learn from it?
“With a fixed mindset, it can be hard to find motivation to work through perceived weaknesses because the ability to change may seem as hopeless as changing your eye color. In contrast, with a growth mindset, you’ll see your perceived weakness as a challenge that can be motivating — and even fun — to overcome.”
Mia Primeu, Stanford Today, November 10, 2023.
Thanksgiving to Transformation
Thanksgiving is the perfect canvas for cultivating a transformation mindset. Instead of focusing solely on what’s on the table, we can shift our attention to what we are grateful for—the love of family, the support of friends, and the opportunities surrounding us. A transformational mindset encourages us to foster a sense of appreciation for the present moment and provide grace (tons of it, perhaps) to those who surround us. As we sit down to a Thanksgiving feast, we can view the past year’s challenges not as obstacles but as stepping stones for personal and collective growth.
Let’s not think only of ourselves but others.
Pondering the transformation process begins with recognizing past experiences of ourselves and others, understanding reactions to life’s circumstances, and what we can do to make a positive mark on the people who mean the most to us and the world at large.
I and Thou Reflections 