Author: iandthoureflections

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane – Wrap Up (Reflection #7)

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Power of Peace

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill returns to the chalet, where she recounts spending months sifting through scripture on these specific words: “wife,” “husband,” “love,” and “marriage.” She pours herself a glass of wine and opens her Bible.

…God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? – 1 Corinthians 7:15

I pause, soaking in the words… and wash away my preconceived notions.

“God has called us to live in peace.”

That doesn’t mean peace at all costs, as my father would say. No, we are called to peace…
Then it hits me.
Bam.

Strangely, this might just be my get-out-of-jail-free card…
I begin humming Amazing Grace.
The Spirit fills my soul.
Peace.

…God has…opened the door to separating from Derek.

I can almost taste it.

Faith Reflection

What does peace look like for you? Do you feel at peace and safe in your home?

As we wrap up this series for Mental Health Awareness Month, I invite you to think about peace—peace with your partner, in your home, and with God.

Do you feel at peace?

Good mental health begins with a deep, inner knowing that we’re meant to live in peace. God calls us to peace, and we can trust that knowing when surrounded by those who love and treat us kindly. In that place, we find God’s peace and the freedom to live without fear.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

Jill’s moment of clarity is more than a decision—it’s a spiritual awakening. She learns peace doesn’t come from holding everything together at all costs. It comes from letting go of what keeps her stuck in fear, conflict, or guilt.

Like Jill, we can find strength in letting go. When we do, we trust God’s peace will fill the spaces where fear once lived.

Haiku

No more silent wars—
I stand firm in who I am,
God’s peace, my shelter.

Reflective Questions

Where are you called to release the burden of fixing what cannot be fixed?

How does the idea of “peace” differ from how you’ve defined it in the past?

What would it look like to live in peace today—right now?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #WalkingOnEggshells #UnmetExpectations #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #6

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Weight of Holding It All Together

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill is lying in bed, reflecting on the support and encouragement she’s received from her friends.

I roll over, and my thoughts shift to Sandy, Amelia, Carla, and Suni. My friends. My support network.

I’m so grateful for Amelia and Sandy. They’ve listened with such compassion. Still, I feel guilty… Our conversations have been so lopsided. I’m doing all the talking—about my struggling marriage. They’re doing all the listening.

But it’s making a difference. Little by little, I’m starting to make sense of things.

I’m like a glass full of water. No more capacity. Not one more drop. I can barely keep myself together.

But I have faith. Faith that by talking more about this, I’ll find clarity. God, help me be patient.

Finally, I drift off to sleep.

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt like you’re barely keeping it all together?

Throughout life, there are times when the illusion of being “put together” prevails. There’s often a silent expectation to wear a mask and manage it all with grace. An impossible task for anyone.

Jill’s reflection reminds us that it’s often not one huge burden but many small ones. And they can overfill our emotional cups. It’s the mental checklist. The laundry. The lunches. The forced smile you plaster on your face.

Then, there is guilt.

It creeps in.

The guilt of being the one always talking. The guilt of not asking about someone else’s day. The guilt of surviving but not thriving. It is that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

In Wine and Faith, Jill learns you don’t need to wear a mask among friends. They love you for who you are and meet you there, where ever that is.

She discovers that real friends are there for you through thick and thin. Even if the relationship feels unbalanced. She pours out her soul – and realizes that’s okay.

Your friends see you. God sees you. And that is enough.

Haiku

Steady as a stone,
Friends anchor us in life’s storms,
Shielding us from harm.

Reflective Questions

What areas of your life feel emotionally maxed out?

Where are you pouring out more than you’re being filled?

What might it look like to receive support without guilt?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #WalkingOnEggshells #UnmetExpectations #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #5

A Reflection Series for Stress Awareness Month

The Stress of Unmet Expectations

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill is reading a journal entry she had written in the early stages of her pregnancy. She is reflecting on feeling ignored by her husband, Derek.

Dear God,

Why is Derek appalled by my big tummy?

Growing a human within is a sacred experience. Yet, I feel as though I have the plague. I never imagined this! I expected more compassion, respect, touching – caressing, and kissing. Being pregnant doesn’t mean I have lost my physical urges. If anything, they have intensified. Maybe I’m trying too hard or expecting too much. What if my “condition” turns off Derek? All I know is it makes me so sad.

Please help me to understand why Derek is this way. Guide me, Oh, Lord. Fill my heart with more love and patience. Thank you for the miracle of life.

Amen

Faith Reflection

Have you ever expected someone to show up with compassion only to be met by distance instead? Like they checked out?

Unmet expectations—especially from those we love—can cut deep. You thought you’d be celebrated and cherished. But instead, you find yourself grieving an intimacy that is no longer there.

We start to ask questions:
What is wrong with me?
What did I do?

We second-guess our needs. We blame our emotions. We wonder why our partner is not talking to us. Or even trying to understand us?

The pain of unmet expectations is real. It doesn’t mean we are too needy. It’s a sign that we are human.

Jill’s broken heart is subtle yet profound. It cuts us at our core. The longing to be seen and touched. Especially during one of the most vulnerable times of a woman’s life. But Derek’s silence speaks louder than words.

Jill doesn’t scream or sob. She writes. It is there, in the journal, that she begins to face the truth that she is alone in her marriage. Something she never imagined.

God sees this disappointment.

You see me. — Genesis 16:13 (Hagar’s words to God)

Even when others do not respond to your needs, God does. His presence meets you in the quiet.

Disappointment is a form of grief.

Name it.
Hold space for it.
And trust that God holds space for you, too.

Haiku

A kiss, an embrace,
Our heart yearns for connection,
In untouched spaces.

Reflective Questions

Where do you feel emotionally disconnected?

And how might you begin naming that, even gently?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #WalkingOnEggshells #UnmetExpectations #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #4

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Stress of Walking on Eggshells

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

It’s the day before Jill’s trip to Napa. Her husband, Derek, enters the bedroom.

Derek: “Jill, what in the world are you doing?” Derek’s tone exuded disbelief.
Jill: “I’m packing,” I said calmly.
Derek: “…Stop packing!… You’re not going anywhere. Who do you think you are?…”
Jill: … “You told me to go to Amelia’s…You and Dr. Kate agreed…”
Derek: “I didn’t mean that literally. Are you stupid, Jill?”
Jill: “No… Are you saying I shouldn’t believe anything you say?…”
Derek: “…. Go! Get out of here! Good riddance.”

He stormed out of the bedroom in a huff.

Faith Reflection

Have you ever had the feeling of being one misstep away from a blow-up? Or a sense that your words are twisted despite your calm tone and kind intentions?

When we feel this psychological wear and tear, it is exhausting. Over time, the body stays on high alert. Trapped in a never-ending loop of fight-or-flight. Eventually, emotions become harder and harder to regulate.

You begin to second-guess yourself. Then, you start to wonder if you’re the crazy one.

But sometimes, this feeling of walking on eggshells is a signal. It tells us that something needs to change.

In Wine & Faith, Jill isn’t just packing a suitcase. She’s on a quest to unpack years of silent suffering, invalidation, and anxiety.

She is stepping into a place of self-preservation. A sanctuary where she can confront the reality of her life.

To reflect.
To unravel the complexities.
To seek clarity amid the chaos.
To reclaim her identity.

In this pivotal scene, Jill clings to the hope of transformation.

Jill stands up and draws a line in the sand. She wants the walking on eggshells to stop. But Derek sees this moment as a betrayal. A boundary crossed.

God sees Jill’s line. And He honors it.

Even when others twist your words or belittle your truth, God never will.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

God knows what was said, what was done, and how it made you feel. He is our safe place.

Haiku

Words dig deep within
Crackling eggs beneath my feet
Divine presence awaits

Reflective Questions

Have you ever felt like you had to watch every word or action to avoid someone’s anger? How did it affect your sense of peace, trust, or identity?

What boundary do you need to place (or reinforce) to reclaim peace in your inner sanctuary?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #WalkingOnEggshells #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #3

The Weight of Emotional Isolation

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

This dialogue takes place after Jill and Derek attend a parenting workshop.

Jill: “Derek, what did you think of the workshop?”

Derek: “Well, you know, it is all psychobabble. Goals. Talking together. What is the point? Our kids are fine…”

He doesn’t get it, does he? Can’t he see that he is too authoritarian? It was his way or the highway, which left me feeling like chopped liver.

Faith Reflection

Have you ever been surrounded by people and still feel alone?

Emotional isolation is feeling disconnected despite being physically present. It is a heavy burden. Relationships thrive on mutual understanding and validation.

When you try to share your thoughts, and they’re met with dismissal, it can feel like your voice is lost. Like you don’t matter. This lack of connection breeds loneliness and mistrust. It’s like the person you want to count on and have your back – has checked out.

In Jill’s story, she longs for a moment of mutual understanding but is met with a wall of indifference instead.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. – Psalm 55:22

This verse reminds us that God sees our pain. Even when it is hidden from others.

When you feel isolated, turn to the One that is always there.
God!

God knows your heart and hears your cries. Go ahead. Bear your soul. Let God lift the burden from you.

Haiku

Spoken words dissolve
Into a sea of loneliness
Where God whispers love.

Reflective Questions

When was the last time you felt emotionally isolated? How did you cope?

What steps can you take to make your voice heard?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #EmotionalIsolation #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #2

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Stress of Feeling Invisible

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill is confiding in her friend Amelia about feeling invisible in her marriage.

Amelia: “Do you feel invisible with Derek?”

Jill: “Incredibly so. I’ll tell you a quick story. My friend Carla and I rearranged the living room one afternoon, having a great time mixing things up. When we got back from the store, Derek had moved everything back without saying a word. When I asked about it, he snapped, ‘I will do what I want. You are not the boss of me!’ I felt dismissed, like my preferences didn’t matter.”

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt invisible to someone you love?

It’s not a great feeling. Is it?

It’s a unique kind of loneliness. You are physically present yet emotionally disregarded or ignored. This type of feeling creates distance. Not only that, it attacks your self-worth, and you begin questioning.

Yourself.
Others.
And God.

In relationships, it’s natural to want to be noticed.

To be acknowledged.
To be affirmed.
These are fundamental building blocks of a relationship.

When others brush aside our efforts or desires, it’s easy to question our value. Jill’s story reflects the tension between longing to connect and being met with indifference.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted – Psalm 34:18

Feeling unseen erodes self-worth and drives a wedge between partners. Seeking support is not a weakness but a step toward healing. When you feel unnoticed, hold onto the truth that your feelings matter. Even when you think they don’t.

Haiku

Eyes that never see
Words that vanish in the air
God is there for you.

Reflective Questions

-When was the last time you felt unseen in a relationship? How did it affect you?

-What steps can you take to feel more valued and heard?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #FeelingInvisible #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Reflection #1

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

The Weight of The Overwhelm

Excerpt from Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa

Jill, the main character, is having an internal dialogue with herself about her husband, Derek…

“With the teacher conference conversation still fresh in my mind, I felt at a crossroads. I saw a pattern. Derek did not. My good kids were morphing into out-of-control kids. As a mother, I had to fix this problem….So, I decided to call Amelia and finally take her up on her offer for a visit.” – Jill Mandela

Faith Reflection

Have you ever felt like you were at the end of your rope and had to do something fast?

When we get overwhelmed, it feels like the walls are closing in. And there is nowhere to escape. In other words, it is that crushing point when everything feels urgent.

The people we love hurt.
Responsibilities pile up.
And there is pressure to “fix it.”

But sometimes, feeling overwhelmed can be a signal. It tells us that something needs to change.

Jill realizes she needs distance.

Not to escape – but to find clarity.

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” -Luke 5:16

In this passage, we read that Jesus withdrew to quiet places to pray. He needed space to breathe. A place to pause and regroup. Clarity doesn’t always come through effort. Sometimes, it arrives in stillness and prayer.

In several key moments in the book, Jill reads scripture and then seems to receive a divine message. All leading her to greater insights and a softer heart.

Haiku

In the tangled noise
Clarity waits, whispering—
Step back, take a pause

Reflective Questions

When life feels too full, where do you go for clarity?

What’s one area in your life where stepping back could help you see more clearly?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Please comment and “like” this post if you feel led to do so.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Overwhelm #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaiseleyfrog #LifeJourney

Wine & Faith by Nadia Crane: Introduction

A Reflection Series for Mental Health Awareness Month

Introduction

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

It’s a perfect time to pause and reflect.

In the next few days, I invite you to join me in a series of reflections drawn from the novel Wine & Faith – 19 Days in Napa.

Whether you’ve read Wine & Faith or not, these blog posts are designed to stand on their own. Wine & Faith isn’t for everyone. Yet, in the next few weeks, we’ll explore a few themes that most people encounter at some point.

This book isn’t about mental health in the clinical sense, but it speaks to the emotional burdens we carry. It is the perfect book to use as a backdrop for Mental Health awareness.

A Little About the Book

Wine & Faith touches the heart. It shows patterns that repeat across generations, feelings of loneliness, unmet emotional needs, and a strong wish to be seen and heard. It weaves themes of faith and personal transformation with the rawness of human experience.

In Wine & Faith, we follow Jill, a woman trying to make sense of the growing chaos in her life. The walls seem to be caving in, and she is facing a crisis of faith. Her husband, Derek, carries his own inherited, unhealthy patterns.

Wine & Faith explores how brokenness can slowly lead to healing.

In the next few posts, I’ll share:

~A brief excerpt from the book
~A faith-grounded reflection on a hidden stressor
~A haiku to uplift your spirit
~A journal prompt to guide your thoughts

Let’s navigate through Jill’s journey together.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please comment and “like” this post if you feel so led.

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #Relationships #WineandFaith #NadiaCrane #thepaisleyfrog #LifeJourney

A Mother’s Day Tribute

It was Mother’s Day.
Decades ago.
I told my mom I would have a baby, too!

Here is a poem she wrote after she found out..

Our Baby

Our baby’s having a baby –
We can’t believe it’s true!
Seems like only yesterday,
We were diapering you.

Our baby’s having a baby –
We’re excited as can be.
Grandchild number five
Is added to our “tree.”

Our baby’s having a baby –
A bundle in pink or blue;
A little girl or a little boy,
With features from each of you.

Our baby’s having a baby –
Isn’t it exciting?
For the dad’s side, it’s number four;
As we welcome soon one more.

~Connie Walton, 1992
1924 – 2017

Here is my tribute to her, written today for Mother’s Day 2025…

My Mom, The Rock

She never told me what to do
and didn’t map the road ahead.
She listened.
Quiet.
Steady.
Like a rock.

As I poured out my thoughts,
Not once did she say, “You should…”
She only nodded and stayed silent.
Like a rock.

And when I stood in that kitchen,
telling her I’d be a mother too,
she didn’t give advice,
she beamed from ear to ear.
As if she already knew.
Like a rock.

Although I swear I saw a tear,
A tear of joy was shed for me.
Listening was the lesson.
Her warmth, her knowing glance,
Blanketed me with comfort.
Like a rock.

Love wasn’t in instructions or advice,
but in her presence, that was real.
At two o’clock in the morning,
she would answer my email
in the stillness of the night.
Like a rock.

My mom’s face was like a book.
She proudly wore her emotions.
Steady.
Loving.
Like a rock.

A solid rock, was she,
Secretly rooting for me each day.
I know deep inside my heart,
She lives on through me.
Like a rock.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

#Love #MothersDay #Poetry #Mom #Baby